Something to Live For
by Phsbarbie
Summary: A story about Kaidan and Shepard(female) after the fall of the Reapers. It includes most characters from the Mass Effect universe in one chapter or another. It also has background other couples(Liara/Javik, Tali/Garrus). POV switches between Kaidan and Shepard, bolded where it does. The amazing cover art is courtesy of Reellifejaneway2 over on Deviant art. Go check her out!
1. Chapter 1

_**The first breath hurts the most. At least, that's what I**_ think as I draw it. But with the second breath comes the guilt. EDI, the Geth, the Mass Relays, what have I done? I think as i start to lose consciousness again.

"You saved the galaxy Shepard," a soft voice says in my ear.

"EDI?" I try to say, but my body wins over my mind and the world fades away.

I can't tell you when I next wake up. It could have been minutes or hours, but wake up I do. It reminds me of something Zaeed said to me once. "It's amazing what you can survive when you're stubborn enough." That was in reference to me surviving my ship blowing up and being spaced in the process. My prospects don't look much better this time around. Last time Cerberus rebuilt me. This time I wiped them out a few minutes before the Reapers.

"Nice one Shepard," I manage to croak through my damaged windpipes. I attempt to roll onto my back. Through sheer dumb luck I landed in a small pocket of space in the debris. There are two columns above me that crashed into each other and are now holding each other up, giving me about 2 feet of space above my head. I'm surrounded by rubble on all sides.

I manage to turn to my back and stare upwards, not seeing anything. I'm alive, I think to myself. Why the hell am I alive? What's the point? I destroyed the Reapers, I saved the galaxy, I did my damn job. Don't I deserve a rest? There's nothing left for me. I killed EDI, I betrayed Legion, my entire family died on Mindoir where I was the only survivor left in the whole colony. It's a pattern really, I was also the only survivor on Akuze, where the rest of my squad was killed by thresher maws. I get it. I'm a survivor. But, seriously, don't I deserve a rest?

And then the flash of a face comes to me. Strong, handsome, with warm brown eyes, dark brown hair, and the most beautiful smile I've ever seen. Kaidan. My Kaidan. My soft place to land. The man who waited two years for me, even though he thought me dead. It destroyed him every day, but he simply couldn't bring himself to forget me. The one who said he couldn't survive losing me again. The one I promised to come back to. The one who promised to wait until I did. It's true, I've earned a rest, but what I've earned even more is a life with him.

_**"She's not dead!" I yell at them. We're all still standing**_ around the memorial wall and I can tell they're worried about me, but I don't care. I won't put her name up there. She's still alive. I know it. I can feel it.

"Dude, Kaidan, I know how you feel. I just had to put EDI's name up there," says Joker, stopping to clear his throat and blink back tears. I try to soften my voice for him.

"Joker, I know you're grieving and I'm sorry EDI's gone, but Shepard isn't. We need to go find her." They look at me like I've lost my mind.

"Kaidan..." Liara steps towards me, her arm outstretched. I yank my own away from her.

"You don't get it! Last time I was told she was dead I just accepted it. I mourned her, but I didn't investigate. And she was alive! She was unconscious on a Cerberus operating table, but she was alive. If i had only gone looking for her, I would have found her."

"Kaidan, a top secret organization had her body as their most tightly guarded secret while they attempted to rebuild her. How could you have possibly found her?" asks Garrus.

"Because I loved her, even then. Nothing in the world could have kept me from her if I simply bothered to look!" I'm yelling again, but I can't help it. They don't understand.

There's a pattern that's been forming in my mind. I believed in Shepard when we went up against Saren. I trusted her when we stole the Normandy and together we saved the galaxy, albeit temporarily. I didn't dig into her death, didn't go looking for her body, and she ended up in Cerberus hands. I can only imagine how thrilled she must have been to hear she was indebted to the organization that killed her entire squad on Akuze.

I found her again on Horizon, and instead of grabbing her and never letting her go, I picked a fight. I didn't believe in her, I didn't trust her, and I sure as hell didn't like the looks the green guy in back of her was shooting her way. She told me she wasn't with Cerberus, that she was after the Collectors, she begged me to help her, but instead I turned away and called her a traitor.

So off she went to save the galaxy for a second time, on the definition of a suicide mission, this time without me. I nearly lost her again. And not just from the Collectors either. I got that note from Thane, telling me what a lucky man I am. When he made a move on her she told him things were still complicated between us, and he respected her wishes. I still don't like the guy, and don't even get me started on Garrus.

Next they had her locked up on ridiculous charges, staying in the same damn city as me on Earth and I didn't even bother trying to see her. Why? Because I'm a coward. I couldn't bear to look in her eyes and no longer see the love I feel reflected out of them. Then I was walking out of my meeting with the defense committee and I saw her. She was more beautiful than I remembered, but she was shaking hands with James Vega, and giving him that smile. I know James Vega, and there isn't a woman he's met he hasn't tried to get into bed. And from what I hear he usually succeeds.

I called her name and she looked at me with timid hope in her eyes, telling me how glad she was to see me before going to see the defense committee, leaving me with James.

"You know the Commander?" he asked. Obviously she didn't give him the same speech she gave Thane.

"I used to," I replied, refusing to look him in the eyes. Then all hell breaks loose and we're racing to the Normandy, rescuing Shepard and leaving Anderson behind. When James questioned her actions and she exploded on him I knew I was wrong. There's no way she was sleeping with him. I watched her in action, prepping her armor and weapons, feeling something akin to hope that maybe there was still a chance for us after all.

Then we get to Mars and my pattern of being a dumbass continued. Cerberus was there. I know she blew up the Collectors' base and told the Illusive Man to go to hell, but the first thing out of my mouth once we were out of combat is a thinly veiled accusation that she's working for them. James butts in and tells me she's had no communications at all while in lock up, but it was the look of exhausted betrayal she gave me that convinced me. She asked for my trust but I was saved having to answer by Liara crashing through the ceiling.

I nearly died that day, and my last words to her would have been accusing her of being a Cerberus husk. So when I asked her to come see me in the hospital I knew what a bastard I had been. But I was still a coward. So I held her hand and told her that I cared when I wanted to pull her into me and declare that I love her.

Last but not least was the Cerberus attack on the citadel. She came charging out to the shuttle telling us Udina has betrayed us, and I pulled a gun on her. Udina was yelling at me that she's with Cerberus and the look in her eyes tells me this time would be one too many. I had a choice to make and this time I chose Shepard. I finally trusted her, I finally believed in her, and together we saved the day again.

She promised she'd be waiting for me. Told me I better show up, and I plan on trusting her. If I had only looked for her three years ago I wouldn't have spent the following two in a pain filled daze, trying not to cry whenever someone mentioned her name. She's out there, she needs me, and this time I plan on showing up!

It isn't until I hear the dead silence around me that I realize I said all that out loud. Garrus is trying very hard not to make eye contact, James has that smirk on his face, and Traynor is looking at me with pity. Liara, however, looks determined.

"Ok Kaidan," she says. "Let's go get her."

"Um," says Tali. "There's the little issue of getting the engines working."

"Come on Tali," says Adams. "With you, me, Donnelly, and Daniels we'll have them up and running in no time."

"And how are we supposed to get all the way to the Citadel?" James asks. "Or have you forgotten all the Mass Relays exploded?"

"Foolish human, they did not explode," sneers Javik. "They are merely damaged. In my cycle, they would be repaired already. And besides, the Reapers moved the Citadel next to your Earth."

"Fine. How are we supposed to make it back to Earth then?"

"We're actually only two or three systems away from Earth. Using FTL travel we can be there in a matter of days," says Joker. I flash him a grateful smile he doesn't return. "Besides, I have some things to say to Shepard myself."


	2. Chapter 2

**_Step one, roll to my back, complete. Now how_** the hell do I get out of here? I guess I should be grateful to Cerberus, these cybernetic implants have probably saved my life a second time. How else can you explain that I'm still breathing? That's not to say everything's fine. I'm in bad shape. I can barely move and no one is going to come looking for me. Maybe in a week or two to give me a proper burial, but when you take into consideration that I only have the required emergency rations stashed in my uniform I don't see myself lasting more than a few days.

After my third attempt I manage to sit up. Score one for Shepard. I might be moving slowly, but It counts. My conversation with Anderson comes to mind. "I feel like death, but I'm moving." Tears come to my eyes as I remember yet another person I was unable to save, my friend and mentor David Anderson. I blink away the tears. Now is not the time.

My situation has worsened since that conversation. I'm pretty sure walking is out of the question, but I may be able to crawl. However the strength to crawl does not equal the strength to remove the debris that is piled on all sides of me, forming almost a cave that I'm trapped in. So how do I get out? I remember Urdnot Bakkara telling me about being sealed in a cave to become a Shaman. She managed to dig her way out with a crystal. Of course! She gave me the crystal as a reminder of hope and I've worn it around my neck ever since. Now the only question is which way to dig.

"If you start to dig the wrong way Shepard, you and Bakkara will have two things in common. That and your similar mass." I close my eyes tight, hoping to make the voice go away. When I open them she's sitting across the cave from me. "That was a joke." I smile tiredly at my hallucination.

"Great. I'm farther gone than I thought."

"Does this unit have a soul?"

"EDI, that's Legion's line."

"But does it not apply to me as well?"

"Sure, I'll play along. Yes EDI, you do have a soul."

"Then is it not a statistical possibility that said soul would come back to visit you?"

"It's far more likely PTSD has finally caught up to me and combined with my overwhelming guilt to produce you."

"Why do you feel guilt Shepard?"

"Why do you think?" I rasp at her in frustration. "I killed you. My friend. I destroyed Joker's life, along with all synthetic life everywhere. I betrayed Legion, I seriously damaged the Mass Relays..."

"Then why make that choice at all?" I close my eyes again and drop my head to the floor. Deciding to do something useful while I argue with my hallucination, I pull myself over to a wall and take out the crystal. "Shepard?"

"Yes EDI?"

"That's the wrong way." I roll my eyes and move to another wall.

"How's this one?"

"Better. You still have not answered the question Shepard." I sigh and pause in my work.

"I had to make a judgement call, and I'm sorry you had to pay the price for it. If it makes you feel any better, I expected to pay it too."

"Now you resemble Jeff, deflecting the hard questions with humor."

"I made that choice because it was the best one available to me." I start to chip at the debris harder.

"Shepard conserve your energy. You're going to need it. Explain your options. And your choice." I slow my pace and try to get my thoughts straight.

"I could have controlled the Reapers like the Illusive Man, the _indoctrinated _Illusive Man, wanted. That right there should spell out why that option was not a good one. They would have taken all I am, all I ever was, and turned it into a Reaper. The head Reaper, with all of my memories and none of my emotions. To control them was to become them, and I couldn't do that.

"Then there was synthesis. Besides being what Saren had wanted, I couldn't make every organic in the galaxy half synthetic. I couldn't meld us all with the Reapers. Not even for you. Not even for the Geth," I say, my voice getting softer on the last part.

"So I chose to destroy them. And in doing so destroyed you. Please try to understand. I could listen to Saren. I could listen to the Illusive Man. Or I could listen to David Anderson. I could cooperate with these monsters who destroyed millions of years worth of civilizations, or I could finally end them for good.

"And I don't believe what they said about repeating our mistakes, because synthetic life is not a mistake. The Geth and the Quarians made peace. You found love with a human and told me yourself you'd rather die than join the Reapers. All that is proof that organics and synthetics don't need to fight. There can be lasting peace between our races, especially since the organics of this cycle have already learned so much about synthetic relations. We've made our mistakes, but now we can move past them. We can honor the sacrifices the synthetics made in defeating the Reapers. I believe we will create more synthetics, and though there may be struggles, we will form lasting bonds. The Geth didn't want to kill their creators, they simply didn't want to be killed by them. There doesn't need to be war."

"Shepard."

"Yes EDI?"

"You are forgiven."

"What?" I ask, but when I turn my head to look at her, she's gone.

**_The engineers go back to work on the engines,_** Liara resumes fixing her broker's network, everyone goes back to their stations to help get the Normandy back up and running. Except me. Honestly, what is there for me to do? I'm just a soldier. I try waiting in the observation deck I've adapted for my needs, but sitting on my hands is driving me insane. I decide to move my things up to Shepard's cabin. She's asked me to do it so many times I've lost count, but I always told her I didn't want the crew thinking I was getting preferential treatment. Now I just don't give a damn.

I don't want to mess with her stuff too much, but I figure she won't mind me taking a drawer or two for my uniforms. I open her top drawer and stop short. There's a picture of me there I haven't seen before. I recognize the picture, I just didn't realize she'd had it framed. It's the one she snapped of me when we were on our way back from shore leave, our last one before the original Normandy was destroyed. How long has she had this?

I pick it up and a data file falls out of the frame. It says "To Kaidan" and is marked with a date of about a year ago, around the time she took down the Collector's base. I take it over to the computer and insert the file. And there she is. A hologram of Shepard comes on screen and she begins to speak.

"Dear Kaidan- I'm sorry I never responded to your message after Horizon. I guess I didn't really know what to say. But we're about to head through the Omega-4 Relay and I can't leave with things unsaid. If I don't make it back I've left instructions for this message to be delivered to you." She takes a deep breath before continuing.

"I love you Kaidan. And I'm sorry I never told you that. But I want you to know that the first thing I asked about when I woke up was where you were. The Illusive Man claimed not to know and Anderson refused to tell me. I'm sorry you spent two years mourning me, but I promise I tried to find you as soon as I was able. The thing I miss most about my old life isn't my career, or even having higher ups that I can trust, what I miss most is you. That night before Ilos... it meant as much to me as it did to you. I can't regret working with Cerberus right now, because they're the only ones willing to do anything about the Collectors. I just wish you could see that. I just... wish you were here." She pauses for a moment and continues with a smile on her face.

"Do you remember our last shore leave? When we got kicked out of Flux? Well I've still got that picture of you, I've kept it on my desk through all this. That way at least my memories of you don't fade." Joker's voice causes her to look up.

"Commander, you might want to get down here. We're heading through the relay now."

"Right, I'll be right there," she responds before turning back. "I love you Kaidan. Please, don't ever forget me." I reach my hand out and trace her face on the screen.

"Never," I promise softly. Joker's voice intrudes again, but this time he's talking to me.

"Kaidan the engines are back online. Are you ready to go?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Right, dumb question. Stand by for lift off."


	3. Chapter 3

**_"Shepard-Commander." I don't turn_** around for this hallucination. EDI was different, she'd rather die than work with the Reapers, but the Geth... the Geth sided with them to avoid death. Legion will not understand. "Shepard-Commander, I know you can hear me. Turn and face me, I deserve that much."

"No more 'we,' Legion?" I ask sadly, keeping my eyes on the debris in from of me.

"'We' became 'I' just before I sacrificed myself for my people, Shepard-Commander. Or did you not remember that before committing genocide?"

"Legion, I-"

"I trusted you Shepard-Commander!"

"There was no other-"

"There was another way. I know what you told EDI, more organic lies. Synthesis would have worked!"

"Legion," I say, my eyes still trained on the wall, "I couldn't meld with the Reapers. I couldn't turn everyone in the galaxy-"

"Why not?! We used Reaper code to turn all Geth into self-aware beings, why could you not combine synthetics with organics?"

"Because that's not the way it's supposed to work," I say gently. "Any organics with synthetic implants had them done voluntarily. I couldn't force that option on every species in the galaxy."

"No, Shepard-Commander. I do not believe you. You didn't want to die yourself, so instead you sacrificed millions."

"Legion, I promise to do everything I can to rebuild the Geth."

"This unit _has _a soul, Shepard-Commander. How do you rebuild a soul?"

"Legion, I'm so..." I say, turning around, but he's not there. I'm alone. "...Sorry."

**_We're granted docking clearance_ **to the Citadel fairly quickly and instructed to head to Huerta Memorial. I can hear the yelling well before we reach it.

"You said you needed us to restore the hospitals before we went looking. Done! Now treat your wounded and get the hell out of my way!"

"Wrex, we need your Krogan elsewhere. The Reapers only had control of the Citadel for two days. There are still people alive and trapped in the wards. I know you want to think Shepard survived this-"

"Of course she survived!" I come around the corner to see Wrex roaring at the Primarch. "I would have survived it and been clearing rubble by now. But she's only an honorary Krogan, still soft and squishy, so she'll need help with the rubble part." The Primarch sighs.

"Fine, send Aralakh company to the remains of the council chamber. Everyone else can-"

"No." Wrex isn't yelling anymore. Instead he's in the Primarch's face, speaking quietly. I think he's scarier this way. "I will be taking _all_ my Krogan to find my sister-in-arms, because the more that go the faster we'll find her. Afterwards you can kick my Krogan ass off the Citadel and bar our embassy, I don't give a damn. I am going to find the Savior of the Galaxy, because she damn well deserves it."

"Count me in," I say from the doorway. Wrex turns to see me and breaks out in a grin.

"Kaidan! I was wondering when you'd show up. Let's go find your girlfriend."

**_I've depleted my strength. It doesn't_** look like the crystal is going to get me out of this after all. In hindsight, maybe having the strength of a Krogan would have helped. I lay my head down on my arms. I'm sorry Kaidan.

"Siha." The sound of his voice makes me smile.

"Thane. Are you here to escort me across the sea?"

"Not yet Siha," he says, smiling softly. "Mordin sends his regards. He's running tests on the sea shells." I laugh.

"Of course he is."

"I'd love to take you with me, but to do so would destroy another's life. I believe we have had quite enough of that."

"Kaidan?"

"Yes, Siha, Kaidan. The man I could not replace."

"I'm sorry Thane."

"You owe me no apologies Shepard. I have loved you dearly, but it is not a selfish love. I wish only for your happiness, and it seems he provides it."

"Yes," I respond quietly, "he does. I just wish I could see him one last time."

"He searches for you Siha. But you must guide him."

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that? I can barely move and my voice doesn't go above a whisper."

"Simple, Warrior-Angel. Keep digging."

**_We've been at it for hours_ **when I hear it. A faint chink, chink, chink.

"Everybody shut up!" I yell. Wrex is next to me in an instant.

"What? What do you hear?" I'm saved the need to respond by him rushing in the direction of the sound with me following closely behind. He pulls apart two columns, revealing a sort of cave, and there she is. Her face is bloodied and bruised, her big blue eyes bloodshot. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever laid eyes on. I push Wrex out of the way(with a bit of biotic power behind it so he'll actually move) and scoop her into my arms. Even at a glance I can tell she won't be able to walk.

"Kaidan, you came," she says in a whisper.

"I seem to recall someone telling me I'd better show up." She smiles and snuggles into my chest. "Hold on Angel, we're going to get you some help." She's in bad shape. I just hope I reached her in time.


	4. Chapter 4

**_By the time we get back to Huerta_** Memorial she's slipped into a coma. They put her in the same room I was in, only this time I'm the one at the bedside. They have her hooked up to so many machines it's impossible for me to touch her without triggering one of the wires.

"Angel, I don't know if you can hear me, but if there's even a chance you can I'll talk until my voice goes out. Back on Thessia I listed the moments I'd most like to forget, but I've never told you the ones I hope I never do. Like the first time I saw you. You and Anderson were inspecting the troops while he finalized the roster for the Normandy. I remember that I knew nothing about you, besides that you were the sole survivor of Akuze. We were standing in formation when you walked out, and I couldn't seem to make my eyes stay forward; they followed you as you moved. I was smitten at once. I tried not to show it, tried to keep my composure, but you turned those baby blues on me and I was a goner.

"I'll never forget the night before Ilos. It hardly seems like a risk now, but sneaking into the Captain's cabin, uninvited and unannounced, scared the bejeesus out of me. Then I kissed you and everything in my world suddenly made sense. I wish I told you I loved you that night. That was my biggest regret over the next two years, that you died without me ever telling you how I felt.

"And I know I handled Horizon badly, but I'll always remember that moment of pure, unadulterated joy at seeing you again. Of holding you, if only for an instant, and knowing I hadn't lost you after all. There was our date at Apollo's, when we finally cut through the bullshit and decided to be together. I don't think I've ever been happier than I was at that moment.

"In case you're not seeing the pattern, I'll spell it out: all my unforgettable moments include you. And I still have a few I need to add to that list. You walking down the aisle to me on our wedding day. Holding our first child in my arms. And the look on your face when I finally give you the ring I've been carrying around for the last month. But for any of that to happen I need you to wake up Angel."

"Angel? Is that some sort of weird, human pet name?" asks Wrex, ducking through the door.

"No," I sigh in annoyance, "that's her first name."

"Huh. Learn something new everyday. Good news, Shepard's apartment made it through the attack unscathed. I know, a strange piece of good luck. Since they need the room and she's pretty stable they're going to send her there on strict orders of bed rest. I told 'em you wouldn't mind taking care of her."

"What do you mean 'pretty stable'? She's got so many wires hooked up I can't even touch her!"

"Oh, those? They're just there to give her cybernetics a kick start. Did you know she had so many?"

"I did, actually. Learned all about it at Cerberus headquarters."

"Well, anyway, now that she's had the meds and nutrients she needs they're already repairing the internal damage. She'll be out for another two to three days before she wakes up. She won't be battle ready any time soon, but she'll survive."

"Wait a minute, Wrex. Why am I only hearing about this now? We've been here for hours." Wrex looks sheepish.

"Well, the doctors told me because they couldn't get you to pay attention to anything but her busted up face long enough to listen. And then I... kinda called Bakkara to tell her that useless crystal ended up saving Shepard. Then she got mad that I called it useless.. You know, the point is Shepard's going to be fine, so let's get her out of here and back to somewhere more comfortable."

**_When I gain consciousness I'm somewhere_ **nice and soft and sweet smelling. I burrow in deeper under the covers and realize I'm wrapped in someone's arms. Kaidan presses a kiss to my temple.

"Good morning sleepy head." I smile and open my eyes. It's still dark, but I can make out enough to see we're in my apartment at the Citadel. I go to swing my legs out of bed, but they don't respond. What the hell? It all comes rushing back to me in an instant. The Reapers, the Citadel, the rubble. And Kaidan. Kaidan found me.

"Kaidan, I can't move my legs," I say, sitting up against the headboard and starting to panic. "Why can't I move my legs?"

"Shh, shh, calm down." He sits up next to me and turns on the lights. "It's okay. You're not paralyzed. You just need physical therapy to teach your legs how to walk on their own again. Your cybernetics have been working overtime fixing you up, but the neural pathways in your brain are out of sync. Try moving your legs again." I do, and this time they move. The movement is slow and clumsy, but they move. I give a sigh of relief. "See? Everything's fine." He picks up my hand and kisses it. My left hand. Which is somehow heavier and shinier than I remember.

"Kaidan?"

"Hmm?"

"What's this?" I wiggle my ring finger at him, which causes the beautiful diamond on it to catch the light and reflect it across the room.

"Oh, that. We got engaged when you were in your coma. It was very touching. You'll have to watch it on the hospital's security vids." I bite back a smile.

"Alenko, you're going to have to do better than that."

"I thought you might say that." He gets out of bed and goes down on one knee. I notice for the first time that the room is covered in roses. "Angel Marie Shepard, will you please, please, _please_, be my wife?" I close my eyes to keep the tears back and nod my head vigorously. He climbs back on the bed and kisses me. When I move for something more he backs away.

"Sorry Shepard. You're on strict bed rest."

"Oh come on!" I say. "I feel fine." He smiles and rolls me underneath him.

"Fine, you convinced me. For the record though, I tried to resist." My retort is swallowed up by his kiss. Resting, I've learned, is over rated.


	5. Chapter 5

**_I'm sitting in the corner of our_ **room, watching her get ready for her meeting with the Council. She looks spectacular in her blues, but my favorite thing she's wearing is the pear shaped diamond on her left hand. It's been three weeks since she agreed to marry me, and they've been busy weeks. As soon as Shepard was found the Normandy team reported for duty. Since the hospitals were already up and running, they cleared the pathways to where the beams deposited people so back-up from Earth could get through. They then got to work trying to save as many people as they could from the wards. The Presidium was left mostly intact, but the wards are a mess. Tayseri Ward was broken in half, making all the repairs done since Sovereign's attack a moot point. Zakera and Kithoi are also in pieces, but not as severely.

Hackett and the fleet, including the Destiny Ascension carrying all three councilors, found their way back to the Citadel three days after we did. Their first stop was our apartment. I told them Shepard wasn't strong enough to see them, but Hackett insisted at least he be let in. He told me he understood she needed rest, that he was overjoyed she was still alive, but he needed to know anything that might help them re-establish civilization. It's kind of hard to argue with that.

So Shepard gave him a short summary from bed, which she hated. I definitely got the angry face for refusing to help her stand while she spoke to him. She told him the Crucible couldn't differentiate between the Reapers and all other synthetics, so to destroy one she had to destroy both. There would be no help from that quarter to rebuild. She did tell him that The Source said the Mass Relays could be fixed with a little trouble by our best and brightest.

So instead of having the Crucible team help with rescue operations, he directed their collective genius to fixing the relays. It was a good call. As of yesterday they're up and running. Although that's a problem in itself. The Charon Relay was never meant to be the relay to the Citadel, but since we have no idea how to move the Citadel, it is now. Which means instead of a clear shot to the Citadel, ships now have to maneuver their way through a solar system and dock at a station that's in orbit around a planet. That's going to take some time to adjust to, and let's hope there are no crashes while we do.

Anyway, Hackett also organized the people left on Earth. Every able bodied person was transported by ship or by beam to the Citadel to join the rescue effort. I don't mean thousands, or even hundreds of thousands, I mean millions of humans, working together to restore the Citadel. They've saved a lot of people, from a lot of different species, creating a lot of good will towards humanity as a whole. Never a bad thing.

Shepard's been doing great. She's got limited mobility back, which means she can stand on her own and even walk short distances. Chakwas volunteered to be her physical therapist and comes to the apartment every day so Shepard doesn't have to travel. She's surpassed every expectation they've had for her rate of recovery. Of course she has. She's Shepard. She's not happy with her progress though. I get where she's coming from. When I was in Huerta Memorial I felt like I was going to lose my mind, and I still had full control of all my limbs.

The visits from the crew have really helped. Everyone stops by regularly, and there's an open invitation to a bed if they ever need a place to crash. The flowers that cover nearly every open surface aren't from me this time, but from well-wishers. The white lilies on the dining room table are from Joker. He hasn't come by. I can sympathize with him. When I thought his actions killed Shepard I didn't speak to him for a week. Of course, he spent that week miserable and drunk, so I don't think he noticed.

Shepard, however, has noticed. She pretends to be okay with it, but I know she's hurt. As for me, I haven't left the apartment for three weeks. And neither has Shepard. We order in all our meals, download vids for movie nights, and keep our heads down. We've declined all interviews, ignored most messages, and finally taken some time to pretend we're normal. Until yesterday.

Yesterday she got a message from the Council, requesting her presence today. I urged her to say no, but she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and replied with a yes. So here we are. Me sulking in the corner because I still don't think she's up to this yet, her finishing up with the medals on her blues to attend the meeting anyway.

"Stop pouting Kaidan. It's no use," she says, looking at me through the bathroom mirror with a smile.

"I'm not pouting," I say, getting up and walking over to her. "I'm sulking. Two completely different things." I straighten out her medals and wrap my arms around her waist. She sighs contentedly and leans back into me.

"Whatever you say Alenko."

"Will you at least use the hover chair? And I don't just mean to the shuttle and back, I mean during the meeting too." She makes a face.

"I hate that thing."

"I know you do, but if you push yourself too hard you'll take a step back in your recovery. Besides, it would make me very happy," I say as I start to press light kisses down her neck.

"Oh really? And are there benefits to that happiness?" she purrs, dropping her head back to give me better access.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there are," I say, unbuttoning the top of her uniform and nibbling on her collar bone. "I'd love to show you-" I'm interrupted by the sound of the door bell. I groan in frustration while Shepard laughs.

"Well lover boy, it seems that will just have to wait until later. You should go answer that, it's probably Cortez with the shuttle," she says, pushing me towards the door.

"Promise you'll hurry back here ASAP?"

"I don't know," she says innocently. "Maybe I'll grab some drinks with Cortez, you know, take my time."

"I knew I was going to pay for that eventually," I grumble as I leave the room, Shepard's laughter following me down the stairs.

"Hey Cortez," I say, opening the door. "Come on in. Shepard's almost... ready."

"Hey Kaidan," says Joker. "Is Shepard in? Stupid question. Can I see her?"

**_As soon as Kaidan leaves the room I re-button_** my uniform and straighten my medals, then walk very slowly and carefully over to my hover chair. I suppose I could have told Kaidan I was planning on using it anyway, but I do love his benefits. Don't get me wrong, I completely hate this thing, but if I use it now I won't have to use it later. I maneuver the chair down the stairs.

"Okay guys, I'm... ready." As I turn the corner on the landing I see it wasn't Cortez at the door. It was Joker. He has a shocked look on his face.

"Commander, I had no idea you were..." he says, trailing off as he looks at my chair.

"Oh, this? No, I'm fine. It's fine, I..." I ramble, trying desperately to stand up. Kaidan is by my side in an instant, putting his hand on my shoulder so I don't succeed. Damn him!

"Shepard's doing better," he says. "She's learning how to walk again, she just needs to use this chair to get around for awhile."

"This, right here, is why you're not allowed to come to the Council meeting!" I hiss at him. He gives me an unapologetic look.

"I'm just trying to take care of you, Angel."

"Council meeting, huh? That would explain the blues," says Joker.

"Hey Shepard," says Cortez, walking through the door. "The shuttle's right outside, you ready to... go. Hey Joker! It's good to see you man."

"Hey Cortez," he says with a nod in Cortez's direction. "Looks like you're busy Shepard. I'll just come back another time." He turns to go.

"Wait!" I practically yell. Something tells me that if I let Joker leave now I won't be seeing him again anytime soon. "Why don't you just stay here with Kaidan? The council meeting won't be too long and I'll be right back."

"I don't know..."

"Come on, it's the most comfortable place on the Citadel right now. And my bar is still fully stocked." He takes a deep breath and lets it out.

"Okay, sure. I'll wait here for you."

"Excellent! Let's go," I say, moving my chair towards Cortez.

"Ah, ah, ah, you're forgetting something," says Kaidan, grabbing one of the handles and stopping the chair.

"Right now? In front of Joker?" I ask in a low voice.

"In front of anyone," he says, leaning down and giving me a kiss. "I love you."

"Love you too," I mumble, my cheeks turning red. He lets go of the handle and I direct my chair out to the hallway. "Coming Cortez?"

"Right behind you ma'am." We make it out to the shuttle pad and he helps me onto the Kodiak. "You know, I'm pretty sure it was the fully stocked bar that was the tipping point."

"Yeah," I say sadly. "I figured that would make him stay." Okay, I think to myself, clear your mind. You can deal with Joker when you get back. For now, focus on the council.


	6. Chapter 6

**_Since the Council Chambers_** have been destroyed, they're holding sessions in the Asari Councilor's office, which, though twice the size Udina's was, is still much smaller than they're used to. That means even less people can attend than did before, and that Councilor Tevos has home court advantage. Which, if the arguing I hear as I approach is any indication, she very much needs.

"Don't think we have forgotten the asari's liability in all this," Sparatus is saying. "If you had shared the knowledge in that Prothean beacon we might have been ready, we might not have lost a third of the galaxy's population!"

"You don't know that," counters Tevos. "We shared it when it mattered, we provided the final piece needed to stop the Reapers."

"Use that as comfort if you want," says Valern. "Is that what you tell your remaining population?"

"Councilors?" I say, entering the room. "Am I interrupting something?" Tevos gives me a relieved smile.

"Commander Shepard, it is good to see you," she says.

"We were thrilled to hear about your miraculous survival. It is good to have the Savior of the Galaxy still among us," adds Valern.

"Savior of the Galaxy?" I ask. "It seems I've been upgraded from Citadel."

"Only because everyone's lost count of how many times you've saved it," says Hackett, entering behind me. "I apologize for being late Councilors. I just came from a meeting with the Crucible team. They've been assigned to restoring stable power and water to all sections."

"Admiral Hackett, we're glad you could join us," says Sparatus before turning back to me. "Primarch Victus has sung your praises about the ground assault, and Admiral Hackett has relayed your report on the destruction of the Reapers."

"Yes, I thought you might want to hear about the events first hand," I say, starting to push myself out of my chair. A hand clamps down on my shoulder. When I look up, I find it belongs to Admiral Hackett. He looks slightly embarrassed.

"I got a message from Major Alenko. He, uh, promised me a bottle of your best brandy if I made sure you stayed in your chair." You've got to be kidding me. We are going to have words when I get home.

"Actually, Commander, we don't need to know about what happened with The Source," says Tevos.

"You don't?" I ask, surprised.

"No, we don't. The choices were yours, the decision was made, and you saved us all from the Reapers. We are determined to move forward, not focus on the past," she says, shooting a look at Sparatus that he ignores.

"We have asked you here today," says Valern, "to extend an invitation to you. We would like you to fill Udina's place on the Council." It's a good thing I'm already sitting down.

"You want me on the Council?"

"We can think of no better example of humanity than you," says Sparatus.

A memory rises to the forefront of my mind. I was on Earth, about two months into my house arrest, just about to hit the hay, when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I called, figuring it was James doing a perimeter check. His last one always seemed to come after I'd changed into my sports bra and shorts, but before I actually climbed into bed.

"Oh, sorry Shepard," said Anderson, quickly turning his back. I grabbed the closest shirt and threw it on.

"Anderson! What are you doing here? It's safe to turn around, by the way." He did and shook my hand. I gestured to the chairs in the corner and he sat down.

"Oh, I was in the area. Thought I'd stop by, see how you were doing." I grabbed two beers from my mini fridge.

"In the area? I thought Councilors didn't get off the Citadel much," I said, handing him one of the beers and taking the seat across from him. He took a swig of his.

"No, they don't. But that no longer applies to me. I'm not on the Council." I stop with my bottle part way to my mouth.

"What? Why not?"

"Shepard, in the last two months you've been in lockdown, have you even held a gun?"

"No," I said immediately. I didn't have to stop and think. He chuckled.

"Do I even have to ask if you miss it?" I take a pull of my beer.

"No, you don't. I miss the missions, I miss the space travel, hell, I just miss the action."

"Exactly. Do you know how many times in the last two and a half years I've held a gun that wasn't target practice? Up until a month ago, none. Being on the Council is a big and important job, but I'm just a soldier. I need the action."

"So, who took your spot?" I asked.

"Udina." I nearly spit out my beer.

"You left that snake in charge?"

"I'll admit, it's not the best solution. What with need is someone with military thinking but the political know-how to get things done." He sighed. "And it turns out that's not me." We sat in silence for a few moments.

"If it makes you feel any better, Sir, I've already plotted out ten different ways to knock out James, escape this facility, and take back my ship. And I've only been here two months." He laughed.

"Now why doesn't that surprise me?"

"To the action," I said, raising my bottle.

"To the action," he replied, clinking his bottle with mine.

"Commander?" Valern is asking. "We understand this is a big decision. Perhaps you should take some time-"

"No."

"No?" says Sparatus, looking confused.

"Thank you, Councilors, for the immense honor, but I have to decline."

"I see," says Tevos. "I can't say I'm not disappointed. Do you have any recommendations for the spot?"

"I do, in fact. Admiral Hackett." He drops his hand from my shoulder.

"Is this for not letting you stand up? If so, then by all means, please stand," he says in a low voice.

"No," I respond. "It's because you have military thinking and enough political know-how to get things done."

"An excellent idea," says Sparatus. "What do you say, Admiral?"

"Thank you for the honor, Councilors. I will need some time to think about it."

"Of course," says Tevos. "Commander Shepard, will you be willing to continue your work as a Spectre? Following your full recovery, of course." I smile.

"That is an honor I will most gladly accept."

"Good, then this session of the Council is adjourned," says Valern. I salute the Admiral and head back out to the shuttle where Cortez is waiting for me.

"So, are you a member of the Council?" he asks, opening the rear compartment for me. I roll my eyes.

"No. I am, however, back on Spectre duty as soon as I'm battle ready."

"Damn! I owe Vega ten credits."

"That depends, was the bet on an offer or the acceptance?"

"Acceptance."

"Yeah, you owe him ten credits. Okay Cortez, back to my place. I've still got a ship, but I need to get my pilot back."

**_"So, Joker, how have you been?"_** I ask, shutting the door behind Shepard.

"Kaidan, just show me to the bar." I take a closer look at Joker. He's paler than the last time I saw him, like he's spent all his time in darkened bars and none in the artificial sunlight provided nearly everywhere else. It would also explain why he reeks of alcohol. His cheeks are hollow, his normally trimmed beard is looking more like a vagrant's, and he has bags under his eyes so deep it looks like he lost a fight. I have a flashback of Garrus trying to haul me out of dive bars after Shepard died. He didn't always succeed. I look at Joker and see me three years ago.

"Why do you need an escort? You know where it is," I say, walking ahead of him into the den anyway.

"I see this place made it through unharmed. You've even got power," he says, sitting down at the bar.

"It helps to have saved the galaxy. They've tried to make sure she's recovering in comfort."

"Yeah, I saw the hover chair. What's up with that?"

"She got busted up pretty good when the Crucible went off. The neural pathways in her brain are out of whack, mostly effecting her legs. So, she's doing physical therapy. She can stand pretty well, and can even walk for short distances. She should recover completely, given enough time. Of course, you know Shepard, she doesn't want to give it time."

"Yeah," he says sadly, "I know Shepard." Nice one Kaidan, not helping.

"So, what'll it be?" I ask, sliding behind the counter.

"Whiskey on the rocks. And don't hold out on me, I know you've got the good stuff."

"That's the whole reason you stayed, huh?"

"How'd you guess?" he asks sarcastically, downing the drink in one shot and gesturing for another.

"Believe it or not Joker, I know what you're going through." He laughs bitterly.

"You have no idea what I'm going through. The only woman I've ever loved is gone. I'll never find another, I'll never _want_ another. My life is just stretching before me-"

"A pointless, empty wasteland?"

"Don't finish my sentences, Dude. It's creepy."

"My point is, I've been where you are." I take out a second glass and pour myself a drink.

"Bullshit. Shepard is here, alive, and now you'll live happily ever after with 2.5 kids who have a couple of weird uncles always staring at their mom's rack."

"I knew I wasn't imagining it! Will you please tell Shepard that?" He rolls his eyes at me. "Look, I get that I have her back now, but I spent two _years_ thinking she was dead, never coming back, gone for good. The only reason I ever left those shitty bars is that Garrus was back with C-Sec at the time. On his rounds he'd pull me out and attempt to sober me up. The last time he had to do that he said something that hit home. He said, 'Shepard wouldn't want you to honor her memory this way.' And he was right. She wouldn't. Don't get me wrong, I never forgot about her. And after being pushed into a disastrous experience grabbing drinks with a doctor I decided I wouldn't ever date again either. But I picked myself up and carried on with my life, because I knew that's what she would have wanted." Joker goes silent for a minute.

"How did you do it?"

"I threw myself into the Alliance. I accepted every mission, fulfilled every duty. Might not be a bad idea for you either." Joker finishes his drink.

"Yeah, that's the reason I'm here. Look, not that this hasn't been fun and all, but will you just tell Shepard-"

"Nope."

"Just like that, huh?"

"Listen, Joker, I have to live with her and if I tell her I let you leave and took a message... well, hover chair or no, she'll kick my ass. Come on, let's grab some beers and watch the game." He gives me an incredulous look.

"The Citadel is in ruins, the Mass Relays are barely functional, and they're not only playing, but broadcasting Bioti-Ball? How many people even have power?"

"Oh, no, it's not a new one. We downloaded some old ones."

"If they're old I've probably seen them," he says, grabbing a beer and sitting down on the couch. "What else ya got?"

"Let's see... vids of Shepard's matches from Armax Arsenal, the latest Blasto movie where Javik makes a cameo, Vaenia, and... Fleet and Flotilla. I swear that last one is Tali's."

"Vaenia it is." I sit next to him and crack open my beer. "Kaidan?"

"What?"

"Did you ever hate me?"

"Yes," I say, not taking my eyes off the screen.

"Wow, don't try to spare my feelings or anything." I shrug.

"I did hate you. For about a week, until I realized you hated yourself even more. You didn't mean for her to die. It was an accident. I knew you cared about her and would have saved her if you could." Joker is silent for awhile.

"You know, Shepard hit on me once." I nearly spit out my beer.

"Bullshit."

"It's true. In Purgatory, right before I got together with EDI." I swipe the beer out of his hands.

"Clearly, you've had too much to drink."

"Asshole," he mutters at me.

"On that we can agree," says an annoyed voice behind me. Looks like Shepard's back. And something tells me Hackett had to keep her in her chair.


	7. Chapter 7

**_I tilt my head back and smile_ **at Shepard, who is standing behind the couch with her arms folded and a rather irritated look on her face.

"Hey Sweetie, how'd the meeting go?" She cocks an eyebrow.

"Sweetie? Really?" I shrug.

"It was worth a shot. So, are you on the Council?" She rolls her eyes and starts her slow and deliberate walk towards the bar. I can see Joker watching her every step. I guess it's a hard adjustment for everybody, watching this woman who has always seemed unstoppable struggle to walk. I don't care. I'm just proud she keeps putting one foot in front of the other.

"Did everybody know I was going to be asked to be on the Council?"

"Come on, Commander," says Joker. "It was a no brainer."

"I see you're in a better mood, Joker."

"What can I say? Your boy-toy has been plying me with alcohol. I'm happier when I'm drunk." I walk over to Shepard and put my hands on either side of her on the bar, hoping she'll take the bait and lean back into me. She does, so she can't be that mad.

"Don't think this gets you out of anything. Mind telling me why Hackett made it his personal mission to keep me in that hover chair?" Damn, I spoke too soon. Or thought too soon. You get the idea.

"Look at it this way, if you had kept your promise to stay in that chair you would never have known about my deal with Hackett." Her glare changes into a begrudging smile.

"Except for the missing bottle of brandy." I kiss her cheek.

"Why don't you go sit down while I continue to play bartender?" Her smile turns into a real one and she makes her way carefully to the couch. That plus the walking she did earlier added to this morning's PT is testing the limits of what she's capable of, but I don't say anything. I just love to see her happy. It's a lesson my dad taught me when I was younger; when in doubt, make her smile.

The thought of my dad brings a wave of sadness. He still hasn't been located; it's basically a given that he didn't make it. I did manage to get a message through to my mom though. I told her I'm safe and staying on the Citadel, so not to worry. I fix Shepard an Appletini(I laughed so hard the first time she ordered a girly drink) and bring it to her on the couch before settling into an armchair.

"So, what's the verdict? Councilor or no?" I ask, though I'm already fairly sure of the answer. She takes a sip of her drink while shaking her head no.

"No, I declined the position. After the war we just had I am all done playing politics for a while. They did, however, ask me to continue in my roll as Spectre, which I gladly accepted. I still have a few months, of course, before I'll be ready for-"

"Months?" I cut her off incredulously. "Chakwas said at least a year and a half before you're combat ready. I'm guessing you can whittle that down to a year, but-"

"Six months," she says, cutting me off this time. "I'll be ready in six months." She turns to Joker. "So, inform the crew if they plan to stay aboard we'll be flying Council colors alongside the Alliance ones. They have six months of shore leave, which would probably be best spend rebuilding. Speaking of which, Tali probably won't be rejoining us, but I don't know that Garrus will be able to stand staying on Rannoch without any action." Joker rubs his face and sighs.

"I was hoping you'd take the position on the Council and I wouldn't have to do this, but I guess I do." He stands and salutes Shepard. "I came here, Commander, to offer my resignation as the pilot of the Normandy." The expression on Shepard's face doesn't change, she simply takes another sip of her drink and sets it on the floor.

"I reject your offer, Flight Lieutenant. And sit down, you're so drunk your salute is wiggling." Joker sits back down with a sigh.

"I really should have known it wouldn't be that easy."

"You really should have," agrees Shepard. "Look, Joker, don't make this decision right now. I know you hate me-"

"I don't hate you Shepard. I mean, I did, for a little bit, but I know you. I've served with you since the day you took command. I know that if you could have saved EDI with your values intact, you would have."

"Then why are you resigning?" she asks. I'm pretty sure they've forgotten I'm in the room at this point.

"I can't return to the Normandy now that EDI's gone. I can't face all those memories, and I can't even imagine flying it without her assistance."

"You got us all back here to the Citadel just fine," I chime in.

"Well, yeah, I wasn't going to kill the entire crew just because I was depressed."

"Joker-"

"Shepard, you're not allowed to decline my resignation and you know it." Shepard closes her eyes and sighs. When she opens them again a bit of the fight has gone out of them.

"You're right, I'm not. I'll take it, but I'm going to wait five months and three weeks to report it. That will leave me one week to find a new pilot." Joker freezes.

"A new pilot?"

"Yes, Joker. The Normandy is the most advanced ship in the galaxy, she's not going to be decommissioned. If I can't get you back in that pilot's chair I'm going to have to find someone else to fill it." I can tell by the look on Joker's face he hasn't thought that far ahead. Not that I blame him. It would be like picturing another man in Shepard's bed: rage inducing.

"Please, take the shore leave and really think about this decision. I'll keep you on the payroll till then." He nods and stands up to go. "Wait, Joker, do you have a place to stay? You can have the downstairs bedroom, stay here..." He shakes his head and gives a bitter laugh.

"When are you going to learn that you can't save everyone, Shepard?" He turns and leaves the apartment. Shepard looks after him with a sad smile on her face.

"Trust me Jeff, that's one lesson I've learned well."

**_Kaidan sets the locks on the_** door behind Joker before coming back and dropping to his knees in front of me, putting us at eye level. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me gently.

"You know and I know that you have always done everything in your power to save every person you can."

"Do I know that Kaidan? I could have chosen Synthesis. I could have sacrificed myself-"

"And turned everyone in the galaxy into a Reaper hybrid? Angel, you made the right choice. Don't start doubting yourself now." I look into his eyes and smile. My strength. My soft place to land.

"I love you," I say, and kiss him. He gives me his classic Kaidan smile.

"I love you too. So, since you obviously didn't stay in your hover chair you don't get to reap the 'benefits of my happiness,' but I'm willing to let you make it up to me," he says in his bedroom voice, slipping a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Are you really? That's very generous of you."

"What can I say? I'm a generous guy. Are you ready to be carried upstairs?"

"Not yet. Since it's obvious Joker won't be taking care of any messages for me I need to get Traynor on the comm and tell her to meet me here tomorrow." Kaidan groans and drops his head in my lap.

"Please don't tell me this means we have to stop pretending to be normal. I haven't had enough of it yet." I smile down at the back of his head.

"Kaidan, are you sulking again?"

"No," says his muffled voice. "This time I'm pouting. Completely different thing." I laugh at him.

"We can still spend most of our time pretending to be normal, but we're going to need to spend some of it returning to our _actual_ normal, Sweetie." He lifts his head and gives me a seductive smile.

"You know, I like how that sounds coming from your mouth. Perhaps you'll get the 'benefits' tonight after all." I try not to laugh.

"Now that sounds like a wonderful plan. Let me make this call and then I'm all yours." I bring up my Omnitool and connect to Traynor.

"Shepard? Is that you? I'm so glad to hear from you!" She sounds like she's going to want to talk. I shrug at Kaidan and give him an apologetic smile, but before I can say a word he jumps in.

"Nope, it's Alenko."

"Oh, hey Kaidan. What can I do for you?"

"Shepard needs to see you here at our apartment tomorrow morning at 10 am. Something about needing to get the crew organized."

"Right, thank you Major. I'll see her then." He disconnects the call and swings me up in his arms.

"There, call made, now you're all mine," he says, climbing up the stairs.

"Why 10 o'clock? That seems a bit late." He lays me down on the bed and proceeds to undo buttons on the blouse of my blues, sliding it off when they're all open.

"Well, since I plan to keep you up until at least 3 am, I figured you'd need at least a little sleep before your meeting." He traces the edge of my bra with his tongue.

"Smart man," I gasp. He gives me a wicked grin.

"Thanks, I thought so too."


	8. Chapter 8

**_The doorbell rings. I_ **glance at the clock to find it's only 7 am. Shepard groans next to me.

"What time is it?"

"7. It seems Traynor is early." She snuggles deeper into the blankets.

"You should probably get that." It's my turn to groan.

"Oh come on, it's your meeting."

"Too bad, I'm a cripple. Looks like you're the one who has to get out of bed." I glare at her, but her eyes are still closed. I'm a bit of a grump in the mornings until I get some caffeine in my system.

"Fine," I say, "but you're going to have to get up too. I can't hold the meeting for you." She scoffs.

"Traynor is three hours early. She can make herself comfortable in the den for a few hours while I sleep. Why don't you let her in and then come back to bed?"

"That is a wonderful idea," I say, giving her a kiss and getting out of bed.

"Oh, and Kaidan? Put some pants on. No need to make her rethink her sexual orientation." I pull on a pair of sweatpants and stumble towards the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker. On the Normandy my days started at five with a quick workout, a shower, and reporting for duty at six, but life with Shepard in recovery runs at a looser pace. Not to mention I kept her up past three last night. The doorbell rings again as I flick on the coffee pot.

"I'm coming Traynor!" I yell. I make it to the door with my eyes half closed and open it before checking who's on the other side. "You're early," I say, rubbing my eyes. "Shepard says she's not getting out of bed yet, so-" I have got to start checking the vid screen. Standing in front of me isn't Traynor with a datapad, it's my mom with tears in her eyes.

"Hello Kaidan. I'm sorry it's so early. I had hoped you might be up."

"Oh my God, Mom!" I step forward and wrap her in a big bear hug. "I can't believe this! How did you get here?" She looks slightly overwhelmed and I remember she's never been off world before.

"I took a shuttle. I managed to get a hold of your Admiral Hackett and he helped me find where you were staying. This place is amazing, by the way," she says, her wide eyes taking in the scope of our apartment.

"Yeah, it was a gift to Shepard from our prior C.O." Speaking of which, I'm sure Shepard's waiting for me to crawl back into bed. "Mom, why don't you have a seat by the fireplace? I'll be right with you." She nods and goes to take a seat while I activate the intercom. "Hey Shepard, I'm not coming back to bed. I figure since I'm already up I'll get in a workout or something."

"Okay baby," replies her sleepy voice. "Have fun."

"Get some sleep babe." I can practically hear her rolling her eyes as I switch off the intercom. Last night, during our rather extensive amorous activities, Shepard discovered my definite approval of her using pet names. She's even agreed to let me try calling her a few too, albeit reluctantly. I like it though. I guess it makes me feel more like a normal couple instead of one who struggles to catch a few hours together between missions. I sit down across from my mom and take her hands.

"Mom, I'm so glad to see you!" She smiles warmly at me.

"I'm happy to see you too Kaidy." I roll my eyes.

"Come on Mom, don't call me that. I really don't want Shepard deciding it's the perfect new nickname." Her smile fades slightly.

"So you're living here with her?"

"Yeah, she's upstairs sleeping. I'd go throw on a shirt, but I don't want to wake her."

"You're sleeping in the same room?" I struggle not to sigh. I had forgotten what a traditionalist my mother is.

"Yes Mom, we're sharing a room. Is that going to be a problem?" She pastes on a smile. God bless her, she's trying.

"I'm sorry Kaidan, of course not. However you want to live your life is perfectly fine with me. I'm just so glad to see you alive." The coffee maker beeps and I get up to get a cup.

"Want some coffee?" She laughs.

"I caught you before your morning coffee? I'm surprised you were able to speak instead of just grunting at me. Sure, I'll take a cup." I get out a second mug for her, fill them both, and return to the living room.

"Not that I'm not thrilled by it, but what are you doing here Mom? The Citadel isn't exactly in the right shape for tourism at the moment."

"Well, I... I came to bring you home." I raise an eyebrow.

"Bring me home?" She looks a bit uncomfortable, but determined at the same time.

"Yes. The house in BC is still standing, with it's own working generator and the running well, so there's no reason not to come back. Besides, with your father still missing the house seems... a bit too big for just me. And I had heard that there's no stable power or water up here. Though it seems that this apartment is doing fine."

"Yeah, since Shepard saved the entire galaxy from the Reapers they're trying to make sure she recovers in comfort."

"Recovers? Recovers from what?"

"That's right, I forgot they're not making that part public knowledge. When she defeated the Reapers she got caught in the collapse of the Council Chambers. She was buried under a few tons of rubble for three days and was very badly injured. She can't walk and her biotics are... let's just say unstable. The neural pathways in her brain are out of sync and her L-3 implant needs readjusting. She's been doing physical therapy and can walk short distances, but she's nowhere near what she was before."

"And what was she before?"

"The most unstoppable Vanguard I've ever seen. Come on Mom, you must have heard something about her. She is Commander Shepard after all." My mom smiles.

"I've heard a lot about her publicly. They were calling her the last hope for the galaxy, and it seems they were right. The only source I haven't heard much about her from is you." I blush.

"Well, after the destruction of the first Normandy it was too painful to talk about her. After I found out she was alive we had a huge fight and I didn't _want_ to talk about her. And it's not like we've been able to talk much since the Reapers invaded, Mom."

"And now? Why don't you tell me about her now?"

"Okay," I say a bit awkwardly. "I can do that. She was born on Mindoir-"

"Not her biography Kaidan. Like you said, she's Commander Shepard, I've heard all that already. Tell me about _her_." This is a new experience for me. Plenty of people have asked me about Shepard, but this is the first time anyone's asked about _my_ Shepard.

"She's beautiful, which, if you've ever seen a picture of her you already know. She's smart and brave, but those are obvious. She has long hair that gets in her way a lot, but she can't bring herself to cut it, which is why it's always up in that bun. She's sarcastic, always up for a laugh. She gets drunk on girly drinks and challenges anyone nearby to an arm-wrestling match." I stop and smile. "She's pretty amazing."

"What's the age difference between the two of you?"

"I'm three years older, though Shepard will tell you five. She claims when Cerberus rebuilt her they rebuilt her at 29, so she didn't age those two years," I say with fondness. My mother's eyes go wide.

"Cerberus?"

"It's a long story Mom." She just nods her head slowly and takes another drink of her coffee.

"What does she like to do? How does she spend her free time?" I laugh.

"She doesn't have much free time. Let's see, she likes old romantic movies, claims she can cook, although I've never seen any proof, and always cleans everyone out in Skyllian Five."

"It sounds like you really love her."

"Yeah, I really do."

"Although she doesn't sound very domestic." I choke on my coffee.

"No, domestic is not a word I would use to describe Shepard."

"That's all right. I'll teach her all she needs to know when the two of you come back home with me." I must have misheard that.

"When we what?"

"Well, I wouldn't dream of asking you to leave her here! You should probably go wake her. We can be home by this afternoon if we hurry."

"Mom, I'm sorry if I have in any way made you think I'm going to be going back to Earth with you. I'm not." She looks at me in shock.

"Why not?"

"Kaidan, can you come give me a hand down these stairs please?" calls Shepard from the upstairs.

"Be right there! Mom, just stay here for a second. Let me go help Shepard and then we'll talk about this."

**_Kaidan and I have a deal: if_ **I'll use that stupid chair out of the apartment I don't have to use it while I'm here. This, of course, leads to a lot of him carrying me around, but he doesn't seem to mind. I watch him come around the corner from the living room.

"Good morning sleepy-head," he says with a smile, climbing the stairs and picking me up.

"Good morning Major," I say, leaning in for a kiss.

"You must be the great Commander Shepard," comes a voice from behind Kaidan. I look at the woman the voice came from in confusion.

"And you're not Traynor."

"No, she's not. Shepard, this is my mom. Mom, this is Shepard."

"Pleased to meet you," she says, a bit uncomfortably. This is not how I planned on meeting my future mother-in-law for the first time. For one thing, I was planning on walking instead of being carried by her son.

"Kaidan, put me down!" I hiss. He sighs.

"At least wait until we're off the stairs." Without waiting for an answer he jogs to the bottom and sets me on my feet. I'll take what I can get.

"Mrs. Alenko, it's a pleasure to meet you," I say, striding towards her with my hand outstretched. Striding is a bad idea. I'm not being as careful as I need to be, causing me to trip over my own feet and fall. Kaidan catches me before I hit the ground. I smile at him gratefully. "Thank you." He helps me stand and I try again, this time with Kaidan holding my hand as I walk. Kaidan's mother hasn't said a word, as if she's not quite sure how to handle this situation. When we reach her I drop Kaidan's hand and reach out to shake hers.

"Let's try that again. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Alenko. I'm Angel Shepard." She bypasses my outstretched hand and grabs the other one, staring at my ring in shock. Her eyes fly to Kaidan.

"You're engaged?" He gives her a grin and a nod.

"Yes, we are." Her face breaks out in a smile wide enough to match his.

"Congratulations!" she says, giving first him and then me a hug.

"When's the wedding?" Kaidan glances at me, then back at her.

"We haven't really talked about that yet."

"Personally," I cut in, "I'd like to have it before we ship out again, but not so soon I can't actually walk down the aisle. So... five months?" I ask, looking at Kaidan. He gives me a soft smile.

"Five months sounds perfect. What do you think Mom?" he asks. The smile that was so bright on her face a moment ago has dimmed.

"Shipping out? I guess that's the reason you're not coming back home with me." I raise an eyebrow at Kaidan.

"Home?" Kaidan opens his mouth to speak, but his mother cuts him off.

"Yes, I had come to collect Kaidan only to find he doesn't require collecting. You must be getting tired standing there, let's all go have a seat." She turns and walks into the living room.

"Kaidan," I whisper.

"Hmm?"

"If I'm going to have a surprise meeting with your mother right out of bed I'm really going to need some coffee first."

"On it," he says, helping me to the couch and then heading into the kitchen. He returns with a mug and sits down beside me.

"So, where will the two of you be headed?" she asks.

"I really don't know," I say. "But we're still Spectres, and the Council needs us, now more than ever."

"Of course," she says, staring into her coffee mug for a moment. Then she shakes her head slightly and looks up with a smile.

"So, when can I expect my first grand-baby?" I spit my coffee across the room while Kaidan chokes on his. She bites her lip. "I'm guessing that's another thing you haven't really discussed yet."

"Mom, you are killing me here," mutters Kaidan and I see her attempting to stifle a smile.

"Okay, how about wedding plans? Any ideas on location, Angel?"

"Well, Mrs. Alenko-"

"Call me Annie."

"Okay... Annie. I haven't really given it much thought. I'm better equipped to mod a pistol than to pick out flower arrangements." Her eyes light up.

"Stop me if I'm being too presumptuous, but how would you feel about me planning your wedding?" she asks cautiously before rushing on. "We could have it at the house in BC. You would have final say on all decisions of course, but I could provide the leg work. What do you think?"

"Annie, I think that sounds like an amazing idea, but a lot of work. Are you sure you wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all! Kaidan is an only child, so I don't have any daughter's weddings to hijack. Besides, it might help me take my mind off Paul."

"Who's-"

"My dad," says Kaidan softly. I'm spared the need to respond by the doorbell. Kaidan gets up and checks the vid screen. "It's Traynor."

"Of course it is. Who else would it be?" I ask.

"You'd be surprised," says Kaidan as he opens the door.

"Good morning Major," Traynor chirps as she walks through the door. "I trust you've had your coffee."

"Yep, and so has Shepard, so you should be safe."

"Wonderful," she says, but stops short when she sees us in the living room. "Oh, I'm so sorry Ma'am, I didn't realize you were already in a meeting. I must have gotten the time wrong, I can come back."

"Wait, Traynor. Come have a seat. This is Annie Alenko, Kaidan's mother. Annie, this is Samantha Traynor, my communications specialist. She handles all my messages, meetings, and appointments. Basically, if there's someplace I need to be, something I need to do, or someone I need to talk to, she reminds me of it. Traynor, Annie will be planning my wedding-"

"Oh thank God. We all thought you'd end up eloping. Cortez and Vega are accepting bets on the timing of it, actually."

"Is there anything those two won't bet on? Never mind, I don't want to know. Anyway, I assume that wedding planning involves lots of messages, meetings, and appointments, yes?" Annie nods. "So then the two of you will be getting very well acquainted. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get something to eat before tackling the Normandy crew situation."

"And I need to head back to Earth. I have a lot to do and only five months to do it in."

"Hold on Annie, let me get my shuttle pilot over here. He can take you straight to your doorstep."

"Good idea Honey," says Kaidan, putting a plate of scrambled eggs on the coffee table in front of me. I glare at him.

"I'm vetoing 'Honey.'" He laughs.

"Yeah, I don't like that one either." He kisses me briefly before walking his mom out to the shuttle pad, calling up Cortez on the way. I smile at their retreating forms. Our first meeting went much better than I expected.


	9. Chapter 9

**_"So, first time meeting_** the Mother-in-law, huh? How'd it go?" asks Traynor as I finish off my eggs.

"Well, after I got over the shock of waking up to find her in my apartment, it went well. She's not too thrilled that Kaidan and I are still serving as Spectres-"

"So you're not joining the Council?" she asks with surprise. "I owe Garrus ten credits." I roll my eyes. Was I the only one not expecting the invitation?

"Nope, not on the Council. Which means I'll still be commanding the Normandy. Are you planning on staying aboard, Comm Specialist? Or have the labs lured you back?" She laughs.

"I think the labs would be a bit boring after serving on the Normandy. I'm with you for as long as you need me." I smile at her.

"Glad to hear it. Okay, obviously I'm not going to be up for hand to hand combat with the Eclipse tommorow. It will be about six months before we head back out." She raises her eyebrows at my time frame, but wisely doesn't say anything. "First things first, let's figure out the crew situation. I've already talked to Joker and he's considering coming back." She gives me a doubtful look.

"Is he really?"

"Okay, he _may_ have handed in his resignation. But he'll change his mind."

"Whatever you say Commander."

"I want you to send messages to Miranda, Jacob, Grunt, Zaeed, Jack, Samara, and Kasumi. Tell them there are still spots open on my crew for them if they'd like to return. I don't know that any of them will; I believe they've moved on for the most part, but I want them to know they still have a home on the Normandy if they want one." Traynor is taking quick notes on her datapad while I speak from the couch, which is a new experience for me. I normally pace when I talk, it helps me think better.

"Then I need messages sent out to the current crew. Tell them I will be continuing as a Spectre, so the Normandy will be both an Alliance warship and a Spectre's transport, just like the SR-1. Anyone who does not wish to continue serving on her is under no obligation to do so. I need those replies within the week so we can look at filling the spots on our crew. Also, please tell Diana Allers I have enjoyed working with her, but there will be no reporters on the Normandy moving forward. The last thing a Spectre needs is their movements documented and published.

"To everyone who decides to stay, they have six months of shore leave to spend how they like. I strongly suggest they spend most of it helping to rebuild, if not Earth or the Citadel, then their home worlds if they can get transport. And tell Javik there's a new assault rifle in it for him if he stops calling everyone foolish primitives and helps to rebuild the Citadel." Traynor pauses in her notes.

"What if he just helps rebuild?" I sigh.

"Fine. But if he drops the 'primitive' part there's a mod for him too.

"Right," says Traynor, going back to her datapad. "Anything else, Commander?"

"No, that's it for the day. Forward any reply messages to my computer. Chakwas should be here any minute for physical therapy." As if on cue, the front door opens and in walks a rather irritated looking Chakwas.

"Commander, why did I just get a message telling me to be ready for duty in six months?" I give her a sheepish smile.

"Hi, Karin."

"Don't 'hi Karin' me, I told you a year and a half before you'd be combat ready. I'm not clearing you for duty in six months!"

"You would if I'm ready," I point out. She glares at me and opens her Omni-tool, typing furiously. I get an incoming message alert straight to my Omni-tool, without it being routed through Traynor.

To: All Normandy Crew

From: Chief Medical Officer Chakwas

I realize you have all received a message from Commander Shepard informing you she will be returning to duty in six months. Please note that I have given an estimate of a year and a half before that will be possible. Plan accordingly.

"Oh come on!" I say after I finish reading. Traynor laughs.

"Well, I have some work to do, so I'll leave you to it. Commander," says Traynor, saluting me before she leaves.

"I could be ready in six months you know," I grumble at Chakwas.

"I know, but you could also be ready in two years. However, you'll never be ready at all if we don't get to work," she says, helping me up and towards the physical therapy rails we installed in the back bedroom.

"You always were a slave driver, Doc," I say.

"What can I say Commander?" she responds with a smile. "I love to see you sweat."

**_I give my mom a kiss as I_ **help her onto the shuttle, promising to bring Shepard down for a visit in another month or two, as soon as she's up to it. As I'm heading back to the apartment I get an incoming call from Admiral Hackett on my Omni-tool and pause to answer it.

"Admiral, it's good to hear from you."

"Likewise, Major. How are things on the home front?"

"They're going well. Are you calling about the brandy? Shepard, uh, _informed_ me that you kept your end of the bargain." He chuckles.

"From the look on her face I'm glad you survived the night. But no, that's not why I'm calling. I wanted to let you know that we've located a ship for you. I realize you probably won't want to leave the Commander while she's still unable to walk, so you have a little while to put together a list of who you'd like on your crew." My heart skips a beat.

"My own ship?"

"Well yes, Major. You're a Spectre now. Spectres work alone, on their own ship, with their own crew. They don't report to anyone but the Council. We can't have you and Shepard on the same ship, it would be a waste of resources." I sit down on the nearest available surface, which happens to be a bench.

Not serve with Shepard? A million things flash through my head at once. Unwinding after a rough mission with some wine in her cabin, sometimes the only time alone we'd get for days. Tapping our helmets together before and after each battle, just to be certain we both made it out safe. Sitting with her in the med bay while she gets yet another gunshot wound patched up. Playing poker with the crew and watching her clean everyone out, even James. Getting a comm in the middle of the night because she's still working and needs a tech expert. How much I missed serving with her when we were apart. The thought of her pregnant, and a million miles away from me the first time our baby kicks crosses my mind, followed by the memory of staying on Earth while my father served in the Alliance and only getting to see him on special occasions.

"Major? Are you still there?" says Hackett, snapping me back to the present.

"Yes, of course Admiral. My apologies."

"That's all right Major. This will be the first ship you've commanded, correct?"

"It would be, yes. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline. I'd prefer to stay on the Normandy," I say.

"The Normandy? I'm sorry Kaidan, that's not an option. We need every Spectre out there working to put the galaxy back together." I take a deep breath and steel my nerves.

"Then I thank you for the opportunity, Sir, but I'd like to formally resign my commission as Spectre." There's silence from the other end.

"You what?"

"Admiral, did you know that Shepard and I are engaged?"

"I did see the ring. Congratulations, Son."

"Thank you, Sir. I'm getting married in five months, to a woman who is the most important thing in the universe to me. I don't want to put us through serving on separate ships, leading separate lives."

"I'm sure if you talked to Shepard-"

"She'd encourage me to go for it, follow the dream I've had since I was a kid."

"Then what's the problem?" asks a frustrated Hackett.

"I guess what I'm trying to say, Sir, is that I have different dreams now." He lets out a sigh.

"Let me see what I can do with the Council. I'll try to get them to see the advantages of you staying on the Normandy."

"Thank you Admiral. But if you can't, my resignation stands." I end the call and head back for the apartment, opening the front door to find an empty living room.

"Shepard?" I call.

"Back here!" comes her answer from the downstairs bedroom. I walk back to find her doing warm-up stretches with Dr. Chakwas.

"Hey you," she says with a smile. "Your mom get off the station okay?" I lean down and give her a kiss.

"Yep, she's headed back to Earth as we speak, talking about wedding colors. And for the record, 'hey you' doesn't count as a pet name." She laughs.

"Why don't you go a few rounds with the punching bag while I do my PT? It'll almost be like working out together again. Well, not quite," she says, glancing at Chakwas and throwing me a wink. I smile at her.

"Great idea." I pull out the tape and wrap my knuckles while she finishes with her stretches.

Together. My dreams may have changed, but they've changed for the better.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Lola-_**

I knew you couldn't give up the action. I'm in.

-James Vega

PS-Thanks for the easy ten credits off Esteban. Are you sure I can't talk you into eloping? I'm sure there's a wedding chapel or two still standing in Vegas.

Commander Shepard-

I wish I could say I'll be rejoining the Normandy, but my people need me. I'll be traveling with the Fleet as they return to Rannoch at the end of the week. Thank you for all you have done for me, Captain.

-Tali Zorah Vas Normandy

Shepard-

Okay, here's the deal: I'm going to Rannoch with Tali at the end of the week, but we both know I'm not built for a life of peace and regrowth. If I'm not back on the Citadel by the time you're ready to go, come to Rannoch and get me. _Do not_ head out without me. No Shepard without Vakarian, remember?

-Garrus

That last message makes me smile, although with a bit of sadness to it. With Tali determined to make a home for herself and her people on Rannoch and Garrus having his desperate need for action, I've wondered how they would make that work. It seems Garrus's plan is to enjoy it as long as it lasts and have an escape plan when it doesn't.

Since my meeting with Traynor three days ago the replies have been coming in steadily. Out of my current crew, Tali is the only one who has responded in the negative. Cortez told me to take my time recovering and not tick off Chakwas, but that there's nothing he'd rather do than be my shuttle pilot. Liara plans on continuing to use the Normandy as her Shadow Broker headquarters. She said no one would think to find the Broker on my ship, and she's probably right. Adams, Daniels, and Donnelly have all confirmed. It looks like I'll only need a few new members to flesh out the crew. Although I haven't heard back from Javik yet. I think he's still weighing his options.

As for my former crew, they've all sent back messages thanking me but declining. Jack is sticking with her kids; they're going to rebuild Grissom Academy. Kasumi said now that the galaxy is saved it's time to go back to what she does best, I'm pretty sure we all know what that means. Grunt is still leading Aralakh company, Jacob is trying to settle down with Brynn, and Zaeed is finally retiring. Or at least giving it his best shot.

Miranda said she'll keep me in mind, but she hasn't quite decided what she wants to do yet. I told her to go figure it out and let me know if she needs anything. Who would have thought the driven Miranda would be the one without a game plan. Still no word from Joker, but it's early yet, i still have hope. I'm about to log off the computer and go make some breakfast for Kaidan for a change when I receive a new message from Hackett.

Major Alenko:

After much debate, the Council has decided to grant your request to stay on the Normandy. You can remain a Spectre while doing so, rendering your resignation unnecessary. And if you ever change your mind and would like a ship of your own, the offer still stands.

Admiral Hackett

I stare at the screen in stunned silence. Kaidan refused his own ship? He resigned as a Spectre? Why? And more importantly, why didn't he tell me?

"Good morning Sweetheart," comes his sexy, rough morning voice from behind me as he leans down to give me a kiss. He's wearing a pair of sweats and nothing else, with a cup of coffee in one hand and that scruffy 5 o'clock shadow that he wears so well. He hair is still mussed from bed and I admire the definition of his torso before remembering I'm mad. Or sad. Or something besides wanting to trace those muscles with my tongue.

"Kaidan, why didn't you tell me they offered you a ship?"

**_I try not to groan aloud. I_ **should have known she'd find out about that. I probably should have told her. There's a simple reason why I didn't, really.

"Well, since I already decided not to take it there didn't seem to be much a point," I say, taking a sip of my coffee. She looks a bit surprised.

"Why aren't you taking it? This is an amazing opportunity for you."

"I'm not taking it, Angel, because I don't want to be away from you." Her face softens.

"Kaidan, we could make this work. I don't want you to turn this down for me."

"I'm not doing it for you," I say, setting my coffee down on the desk, then proceeding to pull her out of her chair and sit her down on the desk next to it. I step between her legs which are hanging off the edge and take her face in my hands. "I'm doing this for me. I'm a selfish bastard that doesn't want to travel the galaxy on my own. I want to travel it with you." She smiles up at me.

"Well, that is pretty selfish." I grin back at her.

"I know. So, I'm guessing you got an email from Hackett that was meant for me."

"How did you know?" she asks, amused.

"I got one that was meant for you." I pull it up on my Omni-tool and forward it to hers.

Commander Shepard-

It is my honor to inform you that you have been made the permanent captain of the Normandy. She will be yours until you choose to step down or retire. Since this turns her into not just a warship, but a more permanent home for you and your crew, we realize modifications need to be made. Please think carefully about any changes you feel are needed and get back to me within the week. If we get the work started immediately she should be ready by the time you are. Also, I realize this means making your promotion to Capital official; however, the name Commander Shepard has inspired a lot of hope in people over the last few years, hope we definitely still need. Therefore I would like to ask you, as a favor to me, to continue to use Commander in front of your name. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

-Admiral Hackett.

She glances up at me with a knowing look before asking, "You already have plans, don't you?"

"A few," I admit.

"Spill it, Alenko."

"Well, I was thinking we could move the lounge down to the engineering deck, in Aller's old cabin. It's bigger, we could probably even fit a pool table in next to the bar. Then we could use the room on the crew deck to put in more bunks so all of the crew would have the option of a real bed, instead of the sleeper pods." She cocks her head to the side, thinking.

"We could do that. What about the quarters for the team?"

"I figured we could throw another one of your legendary parties tomorrow night, see what ideas they have for their own spaces. It might even tip the scales in your favor as far as Javik is concerned."

"You are a very smart man," she says, entwining her arms around my neck.

"One more idea," I say, reaching for her hips and pulling her closer.

"What's that?"

"The life support room on the crew deck, I believe Thane used to use it. I was thinking we should convert it to a guest room for visiting captains and the like for now." She gives me a puzzled look.

"For now?"

"Yeah, I was thinking, sometime in the future, maybe we could turn it into a child's room." Her eyes go wide and I hurry on. "I mean, I know we haven't talked about it much, but-" She cuts me off with a hand to my mouth, her eyes watering ever so slightly.

"I think that's a wonderful plan," she says, pulling me down for a kiss. And it seems, as she lays back on the desk and pulls me with her, a bit of something more than a kiss too.


	11. Chapter 11

**_"All right Lola, where_ **are the jello shots?" asks James, coming through the front door.

"James, how many times do I have to tell you this isn't that kind of party?" asks Shepard with a sigh.

"Can't blame a guy for trying," he says, swiping the glass of champagne out of her hand. She just rolls her eyes and accepts the new glass I'm handing her. I owe her five creds for perfectly predicting that. He joins Traynor, Tali, Garrus, and Javik in the living room.

"You could have waited for me to park the shuttle," says Cortez, coming in a moment later.

"Eh, would have spoiled my entrance," responds James. So now we're just waiting on...

"Sorry I'm late!" says Liara, rushing into the room. "I got caught up in a meeting." Shepard glares at me. Liara's entrance makes us even. I give Shepard a kiss and a smile before joining the rest of the team on the couches. We may be partners in everything else, but when it comes to her ship, I know my place. She's in charge, and just because I'm her fiance does not mean I'm her co-commander.

"Thanks for coming everybody," she says, walking over to us from the door. She's made huge strides in the last few days, she's even doing well enough to walk mostly unassisted. However that doesn't mean I'm not watching her carefully as she navigates the few stairs down to the living room. "We're here tonight for two reasons. First, a farewell for Tali. Tali, you've been with me since the beginning, stayed by my side through thick and thin, and we're really going to miss having you aboard. To Tali," she says, raising her glass.

"To Tali!" comes the response before we all drink.

"Thank you, Shepard," says Tali. "I will miss each and every one of you. And please know that you are all welcome on Rannoch anytime."

"The other reason," continues Shepard, "is that I have been made permanent captain of the Normandy."

"Shepard, that's amazing! Congratulations," says Liara. I beam at Shepard. I am so damn proud of all she's accomplished.

"Thank you," she says with a grin. "I'm pretty excited about it. What this means is that the Normandy is no longer just a way to get to our next mission, she'll be doubling as our more permanent home. With that in mind, Hackett has offered to make any remodels we deem necessary before we pull her back out of drydock."

"Glyph, pull up the blueprints to the Normandy SR-2," says Liara. A holographic model appears on the table. Shepard sits down in the recliner I placed there for her earlier and zooms in on the crew deck.

"So, the plan for tonight is to have a few drinks, a few laughs, and decide on a few changes to the Normandy. She's as much your home as she is mine," she says.

"What plans have already been made?" asks Javik. All eyes turn to me.

"Come on, Alenko," says Garrus, "we all know you already have half of this planned out." Shepard smirks at me and I clear my throat.

"Not half," I protest. "Just... a few initial changes. We're going to move the lounge to the starboard cargo hold on the engineering deck, Allers's old quarters. Then we'll add more crew bunks to the port observation deck where the lounge used to be, which gives every member of the crew a real bed. It eliminates the need for sleep pods, so we can rip those out."

"Of course, those are the changes to make the ship more comfortable to the general crew. What I want to hear are your ideas on what you want for yourselves," adds Shepard.

"Well, I bunk with the general crew, so thanks in advance for the beds. I hated sleeping standing up," starts Traynor. "But if I could change one thing about the Normandy it would be the showers. They're crap. The women's ones at least, I can't speak to the men's."

"Not any better on our end," chimes in Cortez.

"Glyph can you take notes?" asks Shepard. "I have a feeling Traynor will soon be too drunk to have them make any sense."

"Of course, Commander," comes the robotic reply.

"Fine by me," says Traynor. "That's license to have another drink."

"While we're on the subject of communal space, can we do something about that kitchen?" says James. "The stove doesn't heat evenly, and the oven never bakes my cakes all the way through. Not to mention there's next to no counter space for prep work." All eyes turn his direction. "What? I like to cook."

"Okay, updated kitchen along with the showers," says Shepard. "What else?"

"Well, if I were staying on the Normandy, which I'm not," says Garrus hurriedly, "I'd like an actual room for myself instead of just the gun battery. Those human crew beds are far too short for me."

"I agree," says Cortez. "There's no place in the cargo hold to stay. I'd like a room."

"Not me," says James. "But I would like it if we could throw a bunk in the corner of my armory. I sleep down there on the crates most nights anyway."

"So, where do we fit two extra bedrooms?" asks Liara.

"You only need one, since Garrus will be on Rannoch with me. How about here?" says Tali, zooming in on the life support room.

"That's a no go," says Shepard. "That room is being remade for guests."

"Guests?" says Traynor, incredulously. "How many guests do we get on the Normandy?"

"You want to tell a visiting Hackett he needs to bunk down with the crew?" counters Shepard.

"I will," speaks up Javik. "A leader who is unwilling to bear the same conditions as his soldiers is no leader at all."

"Does that mean you're staying aboard, Javik?" asks Liara. She seems almost... hopeful.

"I have not yet decided. The Hanar worship me as a god, and have invited me to their home world. And I am still considering the job offer from the Wrex Krogan." Shepard looks up at me briefly.

"Actually, Javik, we had some ideas for your space too," I say. "But first, anybody want a beer?" Hands go up around the table. "Garrus, give me a hand with them?" He follows me into the kitchen and I hand him a few bottles. "You really should tell Tali," I tell him. He sighs.

"I know. But I don't want to lose her before I have to."

"Your call," I say over my shoulder as I head back to the living room and distribute the beers. When Shepard reaches for hers I pull her out of the chair and take her seat before pulling her back down to sit on my lap. Bringing out the beers makes this no longer a CO's meeting, now it's just a bunch of friends having drinks. Completely acceptable to sit with her now. She gives me a quick kiss and takes a drink of her beer.

"Where were we?" she asks. "Oh, right, Javik's room." She zooms in on the room on the engineering deck. "The idea is to put a bed here, and install fish tanks along this wall." Javik perks up.

"Fish tanks?" he says, trying to act disinterested.

"Yep," Shepard responds. "Filled with whatever kind of fish you want." Javik looks pleased.

"You have given me a great deal to think on, Commander," he says.

"Got him," I whisper in her ear. She gives a small nod of agreement.

"What about those rooms on the crew deck?" asks Cortez. I lean forward and readjust the hologram.

"We could use the starboard observation deck," I suggest. "I'll be in the captain's cabin with Shepard, so I won't need it anymore."

"Great idea," says Liara. "We can extend the hallway to the hull and put one room on either side of it." She reworks the hologram while she's speaking, showing us what she means.

"I like it," says Cortez.

"Me too," adds Garrus. "Exactly what I want." I think I'm the only one to see Tali stiffen. She slowly turns her head to face Garrus.

"You're not coming back to Rannoch with me, are you Garrus?"

**_The entire room goes silent. Everyone_ **makes a concentrated effort not to look in their direction, even Javik, which is nigh on impossible with his four eyes. I wonder if declaring it's past Kaidan and I's bedtime and making a beeline to our room would help me here. Probably not.

"Of course I am, Tali!" protests Garrus. "I've made all the arrangements, canceled my lodgings, I'm leaving tomorrow with you."

"But you're not staying, are you?" Garrus goes silent and looks away from her. "Are you?" she asks again, louder.

"No," says Garrus softly. "I'm not. I'm sorry Tali, I'm just not made for life planetside." Garrus looks sad, but the vibe coming off Tali is one of shock.

"Okay guys, I think that's enough for tonight," I say, breaking the silence. "If you have any other ideas, please send them to me." Everyone hastily says their goodbyes and flee the apartment en masse.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" asks Tali quietly.

"I didn't want to lose you," says Garrus.

"I would have understood!" counters Tali, no longer quiet. "We could have spent the next six months together and been happy with it, instead of letting me plan out some happily ever after like some sort of child!" Garrus reaches out to touch her helmet.

"Tali, I'm so-"

"Don't," she says, getting up and taking a step away. "Just don't. I leave for Rannoch in the morning. You are no longer welcome to join me." She turns and leaves the apartment, not looking back.

"Garrus, I'm so sorry," I say. He waves me off.

"We all knew it would come to this. I'm not a happily ever after kind of guy." Kaidan stands up with me in his arms before setting me back down in the recliner, dropping a kiss on my head and stepping away.

"Since you canceled your lodgings you're going to need a place to stay," he says. "And we have more than enough bedrooms to go around. Let me go set up the upstairs one for you." Garrus attempts a smile.

"Thank you, Kaidan. I appreciate it." Kaidan responds with a nod and heads upstairs.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask. Garrus laughs bitterly.

"What is there to say? Tali wants to build a life planetside, while I can't stay in the same place for more than a month without getting itchy. I guess I'm just not meant to settle down."

"That's not true," I protest. "You don't have to give up your way of life to settle down. I mean, look at Kaidan and me." He laughs again.

"Yes, let's have me look at you and Kaidan some more."

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" I ask, not feeling quite as friendly as I did a minute ago.

"What it means, Shepard, is that since the moment I met the two of you I've wanted what Kaidan has."

"I know what Kaidan and I have is rare, but it's not-"

"You misunderstand, Shepard. I don't want what _you _and Kaidan have, I want what _Kaidan_ has. He has you." I freeze. I feel like the definition of a deer in the headlights right now. "He has the only woman I've ever met that thinks traveling the galaxy on a warship while using mercs as target practice is settling down. _You_ are what I want Shepard."

"Garrus, I-" I start, though I have no idea what I'm going to say next. Luckily, he cuts me off.

"I know, Shepard, I know. I just hope Kaidan knows what a lucky bastard he really is."

"I do," comes Kaidan's voice from the foot of the stairs. I close my eyes and drop my head against the back of the recliner. Could this night get any more awkward? "Your room's ready," Kaidan says, walking towards us.

"Uh, right. Thank you, Kaidan. Good night."

"Good night, Garrus," says Kaidan. He waits for Garrus to start up the stairs before leaning down next to me. "Okay babe, I know you've been trying the stairs on your own before bed, but how about tonight I just carry you up?" I give him a grateful, exhausted smile.

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you, love." He smiles at me.

"'Love.' I like that one." He scoops me up and heads up the other set of stairs. I get changed quickly and slip into bed, Kaidan right behind me. I wait until I feel the heat of his body curled around mine before I speak.

"Kaidan, about Garrus..."

"Angel, he's hardly the first man to admire you from afar. And as long as he keeps it 'afar' we won't have a problem." I smile though he can't see it.

"Goodnight Kaidan." He presses a kiss to my temple.

"Goodnight Angel."


	12. Chapter 12

**_"Oh, and Annie sent another_** message. She wants to know what color roses you'd like," says Traynor, standing by the treadmill with her datapad for my morning briefing. I reduce the speed, slowing it down so I can catch my breath.

"Fresh roses? How did she get access to those at all, let alone a color choice?" I ask as I check my pulse. Traynor grins.

"It's amazing the things you can get done if you drop the name 'Shepard.'" I roll my eyes.

"And you would know, wouldn't you, Traynor?"

"Who do you think gave her that tip to begin with?" she says. "Though I'm beginning to think the student has become the master. The things she's accomplished in the last two months are nothing short of amazing. Speaking of which, don't forget you have an appointment with the dressmaker in two days." I groan.

"Isn't there anyway to get him up here?"

"It seems there are some things even your name can't get us. Annie says his response was, and I quote, 'I don't care if she did save the whole damn galaxy, I am not hauling dresses up to the Citadel.'" I sigh.

"You do realize you and Liara have to come with me for the bridesmaid dresses, right?" Traynor laughs.

"_Have_ to? I think you mean get to. A chance to get off the Citadel _and_ try on pretty dresses? I'm quite looking forward to it. Besides, aren't you and Kaidan supposed to be visiting BC anyway?"

"Yes, but if I could have gotten the dressmaker up here I could have pushed the trip back a few weeks." Traynor looks confused.

"Why would you want to do that?" Her eyes widen. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"What? No! Don't be ridiculous. I've been in love with Kaidan for what feels like my entire life. He's the whole reason I crawled out of the rubble, he's the reason I wanted to live, I will _never_ have second thoughts about Kaidan," I say emphatically.

"Then what's the problem?" she asks. I turn off the treadmill and reach for my towel. "The problem is that I have three months until my wedding and four until I'm supposed to be back on the Normandy. My first run through on the simulator is in six weeks and I plan for it to be the only one needed. I have to be ready for it. And let's face it, I'm not exactly up to fist fighting a yahg at this point."

"Do you really need to be? Wasn't that kind of a one time thing?" I laugh.

"With my luck, probably not. Anyway, speaking of things that need to be ready on time, how are the upgrades coming on the ship?" Traynor looks back down at her datapad.

"They're progressing nicely. Oh, and Hackett said they could convert that storage area on the bridge into a nice, compact bedroom for the pilot. It'll be ready on time."

"And what exactly constitutes 'on time?'" asks a hostile voice from the doorway. I turn to see a rather angry Joker standing there. Of course, I'm so glad to see him I barely notice. It's been over two months since he told me I can't save everybody, and I haven't heard from him since. "Because I thought I had five months and three weeks before you started looking for a pilot. But here it is, two months later, and you're sending out an all hands bulletin looking for a new Normandy pilot. What the hell, Shepard?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask in confusion. "I didn't send out any message."

"I did," says Traynor from behind me.

"You did what?" I ask, turning to face her.

"I put out the word that the Normandy needs a pilot."

"Why would you do that?" asks Joker, his voice slightly raw. "I'm supposed to have another three and a half months to decide."

"Because we need a pilot now," says Traynor firmly, the normally shy Comm Officer nowhere to be seen. "We're making adjustments to the Normandy, ironing out any issues before taking her back out. And one of those issues is that the SR-2 was designed to be flown with an AI's assistance, an AI we no longer have." Joker's eyes flash pain, but Traynor doesn't let up.

"I realize that you miss EDI and that this is hard for you, but the only person that can make those adjustments is the pilot. If you can't stay sober long enough to be that then we need someone who can." I look at her in mild shock for a moment before regaining my senses.

"Traynor, you and I are going to have a discussion about your use of my messaging system," I tell her. Her stance changes to a more formal one, arms behind the back, feet spaced slightly apart.

"Yes, ma'am." Joker seems to be in more than mild shock, his gaze switching between me and Traynor for a few moments before it hardens.

"No one is getting in that pilot's chair but me. Send me the info on the Normandy upgrades," he says to Traynor before turning to me. "Commander Shepard, I would like to formally withdraw my resignation." I smile at him.

"Consider it withdrawn."

"Is Kaidan around? I, uh, had something I wanted to talk to him about."

"He's not here, actually," I say, nodding at Traynor to break her formation and reaching for a bottle of water. "He's over at Purgatory." Joker raises an eyebrow.

"At 10:30 in the morning? And I thought my drinking problem was getting out of hand." I roll my eyes.

"Very funny. He's doing a tech consult on their systems so they can get the place up and running again. People need a place to blow off steam, after all."

"Right, thanks Shepard," he says and, after shooting a glare at Traynor, he leaves.

"You should probably send out another all hands bulletin informing everyone the position has been filled," I say, staring after him.

"No need," says Traynor behind me. "He was the only one it was sent to." I grin though she can't see it.

"Well done, Traynor."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

**_"Okay, try that," I call to Doran,_** the Volus that used to own Flux and now owns Purgatory. I've spent the last few hours trying to patch Purgatory's neon lights into the newly restored station wide power grid. Technically, Hackett's Brain Trust had stable power and water to all sections of the Citadel a few weeks ago, but today is the first time any establishment is legally allowed to use it for entertainment purposes. Now that they're sure the grid won't be overwhelmed the Citadel is allowed to take another small step back towards normal, while Hackett's team moves on to figuring out how to reattach the broken ward arms. I'm glad I'm not the one responsible for that. The neon lights in the shape of asari dancers flicker once and then stay on.

"Wonderful! Thank you very much, Major," says Doran, clapping his hands. "Is there anything I can do for you in return? A private dance, perhaps?" One of the dancers starts to slink towards me and I take a step back.

"That won't be necessary, Doran. Maybe a free round for me and my friends the next time we come through?" Doran nods his assent, but the dancer doesn't seem to care. She reaches me and runs her blue fingers along my collarbone.

"Are you sure? I know we could have a lot of fun." I hear a laugh from behind me.

"The only fun you'll be having will be from a hospital bed if you don't get your hands off Commander Shepard's fiance." I turn to see Joker walking towards me looking fairly sober and grin. I brush off the asari's hands and walk towards him.

"Joker! It's good to see you. What are you doing here?" He gives my outstretched hand a shake.

"Shepard told me I could find you here," he replies.

"You went by the apartment?" I ask, surprised.

"Yeah, well, it turns out I'm back on the team."

"That's fantastic! We could use your help with the Normandy upgrades." He gives an ironic smile.

"So I've heard."

"Well, if you were looking for me, you found me. What's up?"

"Kaidan, I just wanted to say... thanks," says Joker a bit uncomfortably. "That day when we were waiting for Shepard... what you said, it helped." I nod my head at him.

"Anytime."

"Well, now that _that's_ out of the way, who's your best man?"

"My what?" I say on a laugh.

"Your best man! I have some fantastic ideas for your bachelor party. Is it someone I know? An old friend from Earth? Blasto the Jellyfish?" I clear my throat.

"I, uh, I don't have one." Joker's brow creases.

"What do you mean you don't have one? Isn't your wedding like three months away?"

"So you did get my email," I say. "Wouldn't have known it from the lack of response."

"Don't change the subject, dude. Why don't you have a best man?" I sigh.

"I was going to ask Garrus, but then I kinda walked in on him professing his love for Shepard." Joker pulls air in through his teeth, making a hissing sound.

"Yikes. That would knock him out of the running." I give a half-hearted laugh.

"My thoughts exactly." We stand in silence for a moment until Joker rolls his eyes.

"Fine, I'll do it."

"Do what?" I ask, confused.

"I'll be your best man." I raise my eyebrows incredulously.

"I don't recall asking you to be."

"We all know it was just a matter of time. I'm your oldest friend that hasn't hit on Shepard, I'll throw the most awesome bachelor party ever, and you still owe me for all those emails I sent you about Shepard while we were with Cerberus."

"Joker, you sent me two emails. One after Horizon that said 'You're an ass," and another after the Collector Base saying 'She's alive.'"

"Yes," says Joker, looking at me like I'm an idiot, "you're welcome." I laugh and shake my head.

"Fine. You're the best man. But no strippers at my bachelor party." He sighs.

"Alenko, you already sound like an old married man. Who's planning Shepard's party?"

"Liara's the maid of honor, but I think Jack is planning the bachelorette party," I say. Joker stares at me for a moment before he starts laughing uncontrollably. When he finally catches his breath there are tears in his eyes.

"_Jack_ is planning Shepard's party and you're worried about strippers at yours?" I roll my eyes.

"It's good to have you back, Joker."

"It's good to be back, Kaidan."


	13. Chapter 13

**_"About time you showed_** up," says Jack as Liara, Traynor, and I enter the bridal salon. "Let's break out the booze!" A rather snooty looking woman looks down her nose at Jack.

"The only thing we serve here is champagne," she says. Jack gives her a slightly scary smile.

"And the last time I checked, bitch, that had alcohol in it. I suggest you go get us some." The woman quickly scurries out of the room and Jack turns back to us with an eye roll. "And they say_ I _have a bad attitude."

"Jack!" I say with a grin. "It's great to see you. I didn't think you'd be able to make it all the way back to earth." She gives a short laugh.

"You didn't honestly think I'd let these two pick out the bridesmaids dresses without me, did you?" Before either Liara or Samantha can protest there's a shimmer in the air and Kasumi appears beside Jack, drink already in hand.

"I second that. No offense guys, but Alliance blue isn't really my color."

"That reminds me," says Liara from behind me, "what are the wedding colors?"

"They're, um," I begin. Crap. I should really know this one.

"They're pink and yellow," volunteers Traynor.

"That's right," I say, turning to face Liara. "They're- hold on, when did we decide on pink and yellow?" Traynor rolls her eyes.

"Two days ago. You told Annie yellow roses with pink tips." I frown at her.

"But I hate yellow." Sam sighs.

"Fine, we'll focus on the pink."

"I knew I should have been here sooner," grumbles Jack. She swipes a glass of champagne from the tray being brought in by the attendant, this time much more humble.

"Where's Miranda and Tali?" asks Kasumi, flopping down in one of the overstuffed chairs set up around the room. I take a glass and settle into the chair beside her.

"Miranda couldn't make it. She's helping to rebuild Horizon, an attempt to repay the colonists for what Cerberus and her father did to them. She sent her measurements though, and promised to be here for the wedding," I say. "And Tali... well, Tali's very busy on Rannoch. She said she'll try to make the wedding, but no promises." I try not to show how much that hurts. Tali and I have been through a lot together. The thought that she won't be at my wedding stings.

"Then fuck 'em. More champagne for us!" declares Jack. I can't help but laugh.

"All right ladies, are we ready to begin?" asks a lightly accented voice from the doorway. I glance over to see a man that would be shorter than me if I had my mag boots on(they add a few inches). He has short blonde hair, over-sized glasses, and an eccentric air about him. "I am Pierre Olivier. Which of you lovely ladies is the Savior of the Galaxy?"

"That would be the asari," I say, taking a sip of my drink. His sharp eyes quickly hone in on me.

"Very funny, Commander Shepard. I have heard you like to make jokes. It is my pleasure to meet you," he says, accompanying the statement with a small bow.

"And you as well, Mr. Olivier," I respond.

"Please, call me Pierre," he says, pulling up a chair across from us and taking out his sketchbook. "Let me tell you what I had in mind for today. Instead of having you try on the stock dresses I have on hand I'm going to design one for you from scratch. So, we're all going to sit and talk for awhile while I sketch.

"So I don't have to try on dresses?" I ask, pleasantly surprised. Pierre smiles.

"No, Commander. All you have to do today is drink champagne and talk." I return his smile.

"That I can do. Do you want me to tell you what I like?" He chuckles slightly.

"Not exactly. Let's start with your friends. What would you ladies like to see her in?"

"A mini skirt," says Jack. I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Really?" I ask. She shrugs.

"What use is a dress if you can't party in it?"

"Something that glitters, like... expensive jewels," chimes in Kasumi. "I know where to get you some, if you'd like." I laugh and shake my head.

"Of course you do, Kasumi. I'm surprised you didn't say a hood."

"I couldn't do that," she says, reaching for a fresh glass of champagne. "Kaidan would kill me."

"I would like to see you in a huge, vintage ballgown," says Liara, drawing the silhouette in the air with her hands. The other girls start to laugh while I look at her incredulously.

"You must be joking!" I protest. "I would never wear anything even remotely like that." Liara grins at me.

"Which is precisely why I'd like to see it."

"Ruffles!" declares Traynor. "Girly, frilly ruffles!"

"You guys are killing me. You do realize we're designing _my_ wedding dress and not one for a doll, right?" They all nod.

"Yeah, we get that," says Liara. Pierre is smiling along with them as he glances up from his sketch book.

"And what about the groom, hmm? What would Kaidan like to see her in?"

"Something sexy," says Jack.

"No, something classic," counter Liara.

"I'm going with something girly," adds Traynor.

"Something white!" declares Kasumi. This has us all in laughter again and I'm beginning to think we've had enough champagne.

"What do you think Kaidan wants, Commander?" asks Pierre. I think for a moment.

"Elegance," I respond. He nods at me approvingly.

"And how did you meet your fiance?" he asks, his eyes once again on his sketchbook.

"On the Normandy. I was his commanding officer." I wait for the next question, but Olivier simply shakes his head.

"No, that won't do. Tell me the story of your first meeting."

"Okay," I say, a bit uncomfortably. "Let's see... The first time I met Kaidan face to face, one on one, was a few days before the Normandy's first official flight. I knew his name, of course, from the roster I'd helped Anderson put together. I knew his service record, knew his basic stats, but I probably couldn't have picked him out of a line up. I was coming out of Captain Anderson's cabin, my eyes focused on yet another list of critical things that needed fixing before the Normandy could leave dry dock, when I quite literally ran into Kaidan.

"My datapad went flying one way and I went flying another. I braced myself for the inevitable impact with the deck, but it never came. Instead I found myself looking up into the most beautiful brown eyes I'd ever seen. He looked anxious, and at the time I thought it was because he was afraid he's knocked over his superior officer, but now I think it might have been something more.

"He set me on my feet, introduced himself, and then proceeded into his meeting with Anderson. Meanwhile I went about my duties for the rest of the day with the image of the handsome biotic Lieutenant imprinted on my mind. I tried to shake it off; I needed to focus and there are regs against that sort of thing, but I couldn't. If it wasn't love at first sight then it was damn close," I say, a smile on my face as I relive the memory.

"So you were definitely claimed by the time I came aboard," says an amused Liara. I shoot her a grin.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I guess my heart has always belonged to Kaidan."

"Finished!" declares Pierre, closing his sketchbook with a snap. "Thank you ladies, for coming in to see me today. I'll be in touch."

"Hold up," says Jack. "I didn't come all the way from Petra Nebula to _not _pick out bridesmaid dresses."

"Oh, yes, of course," says Pierre, pulling a page out of his sketchbook and handing it to her. "Will this work?" Jack looks at the design, a floor length sheath gown with an empire waist and single shoulder neckline done in a pale pink.

"Hmm..." she says. "Yep. This'll work."

"Wait, what about my gown? Don't I get to see the design?" I ask. Pierre gives me a secretive smile.

"Not this time, my dear Commander. I realize it must go against your nature to not be in control, but trust me on this. You're going to love it."

**_I'm sitting on my parent's porch,_** drinking a beer and enjoying the view. It should remind me of old times, but so much is different that I'm having trouble being nostalgic. It's been a long day. Shepard and I came down from the Citadel on the same shuttle, but she barely had time to set down her bag before being whisked away to go dress shopping. That left me here, with just my mother and the memories of my father. This house seems to be filled with his presence, but at least my mom is holding up pretty well. Probably because she's thrown herself into planning our wedding. At some point we're both going to have to deal with his loss, but I guess it can wait.

I've finally managed to escape my mom's talk of wedding plans, which I understand less about than Shepard does. Shepard. I can't help but smile at the thought of her. I remember sitting here a year ago, brooding over her. Now the memories of her only bring peace and contentment. And perhaps a bit of embarrassment.

Like the first time we met. I mean _actually_ met, not me admiring her from afar. It had been a month since I first saw her inspecting the troops and I hadn't been able to get her off my mind. I finally caved and had been actively looking for a way to meet her when I caught a break, coming in the form of a call from Joker. I answered the call on my omnitool, not recognizing the number.

"Hello?"

"Alenko, Joker here. I've got a tip for you." I looked down at my omnitool in confusion.

"Joker? The pilot for the Normandy?" I asked. He sighed.

"Yes, the pilot. Try to keep up, Lieutenant. I hear you've been trying to meet Shepard."

"What? No, of course not-" I started to protest.

"Dude, do you want to hear what I have to say or not?" I paused for a moment.

"Yes," I said, and could practically hear the grin spread across his face.

"Good, here it is: Shepard's in a meeting with Anderson in his cabin. That should give you about 20 minutes to get over here and 'accidentally' bump into her coming out, just make sure you don't knock her over. Then you can shake hands, say nice to meet you, talk about biotic-y stuff..."

"Thanks for the info, Joker, but I can handle the introduction myself. This isn't the first time I've talked to a woman," I said, though I felt as if it was.

"Right, could have fooled me," he said, disconnecting the call before I could respond. I glanced down at my watch. 20 minutes gave me just enough time to get there. I quickly dropped what I was doing and called a sky cab, drumming my thumbs impatiently on my thighs as it weaved its way through traffic. Now, how to handle the introduction? I thought as we rushed to the Normandy, arriving with just moments to spare.

I passed by Joker in the cockpit and jogged through the empty CIC, headed for the stairs. My plan was to open the tech station beside the captain's cabin and, when she came out, I'd introduce myself, say what a coincidence it was to find her on board, play it cool, and hopefully leave a lasting impression. The good kind.

Of course, that plan was ruined as I came around the curve of the stairs and saw the door to Anderson's cabin open. Damn it! No time to rush to the tech station, I thought to myself. Guess the accidental bump will have to do. Shepard stepped out of the cabin, her eyes on the datapad in her hand. I sped up my walk so I'd be just the right spot when she looked up from her notes, dropping my head so it would look accidental. Only she didn't look up, a fact I didn't realize it until it was too late. Here's the thing about Shepard- she's a strong and formidable woman, but she isn't exactly big. So when she walked into me at full speed, she was the one who went flying.

She had braced her body for impact, but by some stroke of dumb luck I managed to catch her before she hit the ground. When she realized she'd stop falling she popped open her big blue eyes and for the first time I felt the weight of them turned on me. She smiled up at me and I think I fell in love with her in that instant. It was also that instant I realized I was holding my commanding officer in my arms.

"I, uh, I'm sorry about that, Commander," I fumbled, swinging her to her feet and taking a step back.

"Not a problem, these things happen," she said, her smile still turning up the edges of her dusty pink lips. "Though I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage." Images came to my mind of the things I would do to her if I truly had her at my advantage. Get it together, Alenko!

"Alenko, ma'am," I said. "Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko." Her eyes lit with recognition.

"Ah, Lieutenant, I recognize the name. It's good to have a face to go along with it," she said, retrieving her datapad from the floor. "I didn't realize there was anyone else on board today, well, besides Joker and the engineers." I really should have thought my plan through better.

"Yes, well, I have a... meeting. With Captain Anderson," I said, trying to keep my tone unhurried.

"Oh, then I won't keep you," she said, giving me one more smile before heading down to engineering. I stood rooted to the spot, watching her leave.

"She's quite the woman, isn't she?" asked a voice behind me. I stiffened and quickly turned to see Captain Anderson leaning against the door to his cabin with an amused look on his face.

"Sir?" I asked, feigning ignorance. He just shook his head at me.

"Why don't you come in for a quick drink, Lieutenant?" he asked, walking back into his cabin and expecting me to follow. I did, taking a seat while he pulled out a couple of glasses and a half empty bottle of whiskey. He filled them both and handed me one, taking a seat across from me.

"Now then, son, what I was saying is that Shepard is an incredible woman."

"I really wouldn't know, Sir. We just met," I said, managing to keep both my gaze and voice steady. The amused look was back on his face.

"Come now, Lieutenant, a blind man could have seen the way you were looking at her." I lost my battle not to blush. "Don't be embarrassed son. _You'd_ have to be blind not to see her beauty. Of course, there's much more to her than that. She's had a rough life so far, what with losing her family on Mindoir and her squad on Akuze... The last thing she needs is more heartache, though I think we can both agree she's overdue for some happiness," he said, taking a drink of his whiskey.

"Sir, why are you telling me this?" I asked. He sighed.

"Because I'm betting the thing flashing through your mind is the fraternization regulation. I was once in your shoes, Alenko. 15, 16 years ago I met a girl, one of those once in a lifetime kind of girls," he said with a faraway smile on his face. "But Kahlee was alliance, and so was I. We respected the regs and went our separate ways, and let me tell you there has not been a day since that I haven't regretted it," finished Anderson. I eyed him with caution.

"Captain, are you telling me to break regs?" He shook his head and sat back in his chair.

"I'm not telling you anything, Lieutenant. I'm simply having a drink with one of my officers." I nodded slowly and rose from my seat.

"Thank you, Sir. For the drink, and for the conversation." He gave me a sad smile.

"You're welcome, Alenko. Dismissed." He was staring into his drink when I left the room.

From that day to this I haven't so much as kissed anyone but Shepard, not even when I thought she was dead. You only ever get one once in a lifetime girl, and I plan to hold on to mine.

"Credit for your thoughts?" asks the woman in question, sliding onto my lap and stealing my beer. She takes a sip and looks at me expectantly. I can't help the smile that spreads across my face.

"I don't know, they're pretty deep thoughts. They're worth at least five creds," I tease. She leans in close to me, her breath warm on my neck as she whispers,

"Or, how about I promise to do that thing you like with my tongue later?" An involuntary shiver runs through my body.

"That, ahem, that is definitely worth more than five credits." She gives me a coy smile paired with wicked eyes.

"I'll let you keep the change." I try to pull her in for a kiss, but she stops me. "First your thoughts, then your payment." I caress her cheek with my thumb and get caught in her eyes. I can't even imagine my life without her.

"I was just thinking that Joker really does deserve to be my best man," I tell her. She rolls her eyes.

"_That_ is not a deep thought," she says, moving to get off my lap. I wrap my arms around her tightly and don't let her go.

"I was also thinking about how much I love you, and that breaking regs was the best decision I've ever made." She glances at me from the corner of her eyes, seemingly satisfied by that answer.

"Is that all?" she asks lightly.

"I'm also wishing I didn't have to wait for tonight to claim my payment," I breathe in her ear. She turns to me with a cheeky grin.

"Who said you have to wait til tonight?" she asks, sliding off my lap and to her knees in front of me. She looks up at me with a wink while reaching for my belt. God, I love this woman.


	14. Chapter 14

**_The Valkyrie has 16 shots per_** magazine, with a modded maximum capacity of 180 shots. Pairing that with my Valiant sniper rifle weighs me down though, so I should mod them both for weight, the assault rifle for damage and the sniper with an improved scope. Add that to the cool down boost on my armor and my biotic recharge time should experience an 87% boost. It isn't until Kaidan clears his throat that I realize I've been going over weapon stats instead of paying attention to the conversation at dinner. I look up to find both him and his mother, Annie, looking at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry," I say, slightly embarrassed. "My mind was wandering. What was the question?" No doubt something wedding related. Nearly everything that's come out of Annie's mouth in the last day and a half has been. Which probably explains why I was running over the best gear to take into the arena next month; it's something I'm far more comfortable with. I have to hand it to her though, she's doing a fantastic job with the planning. She smiles at me.

"I asked if you've given any more thought as to who will walk you down the aisle." A brief stab of pain pierces my heart at the thought of who I'd really like to give me away, Admiral Anderson. But he's gone, and he definitely wouldn't want me to be sad while planning my wedding on his account. So I manage a genuine smile as I recall who's agreed to do it instead.

"I have, actually. Wrex, an old Krogan buddy of mine has agreed to do it." My smile must be contagious since a grin spreads across Kaidan's face.

"Wrex is going to give you away?" He laughs when I nod. "I can't wait to see what he looks like in a tux." Annie fails to keep the surprise from her eyes as she segues into another topic.

"And Kaidan? Have you finalized your list of groomsmen?" Kaidan groans and it's my turn to laugh. He sits back from the table and runs his hands across his face.

"Um... Let's see... Well, I have a best man, Joker." His mother rolls her eyes.

"Yes, I know that dear, but you'll need more than that. Angel here has four bridesmaids on top of her maid of honor. You need the same amount to match." Kaidan glares at me while I sip my wine.

"It's not my fault I'm popular," I tell him with a shrug. It seems rolling eyes runs in the family as Kaidan rolls his at me.

"Four, you said? Well, there's James, Cortez, Garrus and Javik." I try to hide my surprise at Garrus being on that list. We haven't really talked about him much since that night a couple of months ago. We woke up the next morning to find the bed made and a note thanking us for letting him stay there. We haven't heard from him since. Although I did hear through Traynor that he had taken my advice and is helping to rebuild Palaven until the Normandy is ready to go. I hope it brings him a measure of peace. It seems I didn't hide my surprise about Garrus well enough, though, since Kaidan has noticed and raises an eyebrow in question.

"Javik is a groomsman?" I ask, seizing on the second surprise in that sentence. "Does he know that?" Kaidan looks uncomfortable.

"I haven't exactly asked him yet..." I snort.

"Come on Kaidan, you know he's not going to agree to it." Annie looks up from the datapad she was writing on with a frown.

"That leaves us one short."

"I know!" I say excitedly. "Grunt!"

"Grunt?" Kaidan asks in disbelief. "The tank grown Krogan from your last crew?"

"That's the one," I agree. Kaidan sighs.

"Well, in for a penny in for a pound, I guess. Grunt it is." Annie is working very hard to keep her expression neutral.

"So that makes _two_ Krogan in the wedding party?"

"Don't worry Mom, Krogan's aren't as bad as you've heard," consoles Kaidan.

"Yeah, just make sure you have plenty of Ryncol on hand," I add.

"Shepard, you're not helping," he mutters at me. He's right of course, I'm not. I can't help it. The wedding is still three months away, while my fitness test is less than six weeks away. I feel like until I get that out of the way I won't be able to enjoy the fact that I'm getting married. I take a deep breath and am about to apologize, but Annie cuts me off.

"No, no, Kaidan. This is her wedding, your wedding. However you want it is how it will be," she says with a smile at me. Great, now I feel guilty.

"Well, Annie, while we're here is there anything else wedding-wise that you want to talk about?" Kaidan looks at me like I've grown a second head, but Annie smiles at me approvingly.

"Now that you mention it, there was just one more thing I wanted to talk to you about. Samantha sent over the approved guest list, but don't you think it's a little small? I mean, the two of you have traveled the known galaxy, countless species owe you their lives. Don't you want to invite more people? More specifically, more dignitaries?"

"No," Kaidan and I say in unison. I flash him a smile which he returns before turning to his mother. She looks confused.

"Why not?"

"How can I explain this?" says Kaidan, thinking for a moment. "Every interview I've done since joining the Normandy three years ago has included questions about Shepard. What's she really like? Do I have problems taking orders from a woman? Has Akuze left her with emotional scars that just won't heal? Everybody always wants a piece of her. And when it got out that we were a couple, it got even worse. Does she prefer chocolate or roses? Is it hard watching her charge into every battle knowing she might not make it back out? How would I describe her style of kissing?"

"Someone had the nerve to ask you that?" I ask, incredulously. He gives a smile with no warmth and a touch of bitterness to it.

"That one came courtesy of your old friend Emily Wong, and it was one of the tamer ones. My point is," he continues, turning back to his mother, "on most days the public thinks she belongs to them, that everything in our lives should be available for their consumption, but on that day she'll belong to me and only me. I plan to guard that as selfishly as I can." I lean over and press a gentle kiss to his cheek, smiling. Perhaps I can enjoy some of this wedding stuff after all.

**_I press my head against hers_ **as the shuttle lands, our standard pre-battle check. A new element has been added to this since our wedding though, so I pull her to me and kiss her soundly before pulling away to put on my helmet. James laughs beside us.

"Damn, the two of you need to take a honeymoon." Shepard rolls her eyes.

"All right, Lieutenant, weapons check." I smile and watch her as she double checks her assault rifle, as if she hasn't half a dozen times already today. The test at the simulator went off without a hitch, and our wedding was beautiful. This is our first time back out in the field since the fall of the Reapers, and Shepard can barely contain her excitement.

We've been sent into the Terminus Systems again, this time near the Batarian homeworld. The Reapers hit Khar'shan first, harvesting most of the planet, but not all. The Batarian refugees have proven themselves reliable allies while rebuilding the Citadel, and with the Hegemony gone a new leadership has risen from among them. A leadership that is more than willing to bring the Batarians back into Council Space.

Now that the Reapers are gone they've decided to rebuild their homeworld, and the council is hesitantly offering aid as a show of good faith. That's where we come in. While most of the galaxy is getting along swimmingly, there are always the assholes. A large group of Terminus pirates has set up base between the relay and Khar'shan, periodically raiding the supply and aid ships en route to the Batarians. We've been sent to stop them. Shepard's off the shuttle first, as usual, with her rifle drawn, already scanning the LZ.

"I love you," I call after her, and she turns to smile at me. I can never get enough of that smile.

"If I also say I love you, will you turn those bedroom eyes on me, Lola?" She rolls her eyes and it's back to business. Just in time, too. It seems the pirates have been tipped off about our arrival. Instead of being at their compound a few clicks away, they materialize out of the rocks around us, ready to spring an ambush.

"Find cover!" she yells, diving to the right, and rolling forward to come up on one knee, one of her typical moves. Except this time there's something wrong. I can tell almost immediately, I can almost sense it. When she goes to push up off the ground with a pivot, she falls instead. Her legs, the ones that were nearly paralyzed seven months ago, give out on her. She can't get up and I can't get to her in time. An instant is all they need.

"Shepard!" I scream, running for her, only to see a round enter her chest and her eyes roll back. I reach her quickly and pull her out of the line of fire, but I can't find a pulse.

"Shepard, Angel, look at me," I plead, desperately trying to get her to open her eyes. But it's too late. She's gone. I hold my wife in my arms, covered in her blood, and sob in the middle of a battlefield.

"Shepard!" I cry out, but suddenly I'm no longer in a battlefield. I'm sitting straight up in bed, breathing heavily with my fiancé laying beside me. She quickly sits up next to me, woken by my cries, and lays a hand on my arm.

"Kaidan? What's wrong?" she asks, sleep still lacing her voice. I turn to face her, trying to get it through my head that it wasn't real, it was just a dream and she's here, safe and sound, beside me. I crush her to me, afraid to ever let her go, and lay back on the bed, pulling her with me. She snuggles into my side, quickly finding the groove that seems to have been made just for her. She strokes my chest while I try to get my breathing and heart rate under control.

"Bad dream?" she asks, the concern evident in her voice. I nod, not trusting my own voice at the moment. She hesitates a moment and I know she's thinking of those nightmares she used to have, the ones with the child she was unable to save. "Whatever it was, try to remember it's not real. It doesn't matter. We're real, we matter."

"I can't lose you, Shepard," I manage, my voice hoarse. "My pulse might as well be linked to your because if you go I won't survive it." She studies me for a moment before pulling my lips to hers and kissing me tenderly.

"You won't have to. I'm not going anywhere." She resumes her place with her head on my shoulder before speaking again. "I think I have an idea on how we can get Javik to be a groomsman." I look down at her in confusion.

"I thought we decided on Grunt at dinner tonight."

"I know, but you barely know him and it's supposed to be your choice, not mine. Besides, I just had a dream that he got bored standing up next to Garrus during the ceremony so he set the altar on fire." I laugh and press a kiss to her temple.

"All right then, what's your plan?" She grins.

"Simple, we tell him that he gets to walk down the aisle with Liara."

"So I'm not the only one that picked up on that." She shakes her head.

"Nope, not that he'd ever admit it. You'll have to somehow, slyly, lead with that point. Oh, I know!" she says, sitting up in bed once again. "Pull up your omnitool, let's send him a message."

"Right now?" I ask, laughing. "It's two in the morning." She shrugs.

"So? He'll check it tomorrow. It should say-"

"Hold on," I interrupt, "shouldn't _I_ write it? So it, you know, sounds like me?" She rolls her eyes, but doesn't protest. I type up a quick message and read it out loud for her approval.

"Javik- I know you're aware of my upcoming marriage to Commander Shepard and I want to ask you to be a part of it as one of my groomsmen. Before you say no, it really doesn't require much of you. Just show up to the wedding and walk down the aisle with Liara. I can provide you with links on what to expect. It would mean a lot to Shepard and me. Thanks, -Kaidan." Shepard nods her approval and yawns.

"Good. Let's get back to sleep." She lays back down and turns towards the wall, asleep almost immediately- an old soldier's trick. I wrap my body around hers and try to do the same, but sleep eludes me. The image running through my mind is of her lying dead on the battlefield and I'm trying desperately to replace it with the reality of her here, safe and sound in my arms. At some point near dawn I must succeed because I slowly drift to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**_Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam!_** Dead center of the target, every shot. I savor the feel of the recoil. There are few things in this world as relaxing as target practice. The stress from the Normandy refits, wedding plans, and those damn recurring nightmares fade away and, for a moment, it's just me and my pistol.

We've been back on the Citadel for two weeks now and I feel like I haven't had a good night's sleep that entire time. Every time I close my eyes the image of Shepard dead on a battlefield stares back at me. It doesn't matter how much I hold her, kiss her, or make love to her, that image haunts me. I take a deep breath and let it out, squeezing off a few more rounds. If she was a different woman or I a different man I might ask her to forget all this. Maybe move out to one of the colonies or settle down on Earth, leave the danger behind for someone else to handle. But I'm not, and neither is she. It's not in either of our natures to leave the job to someone else.

I knew there would be danger when I joined the Alliance, even more so when I joined the Spectres, and I accepted this without hesitation. I would give my life in an instant if called upon to do so, and I guess I always thought that would be the hard part. It isn't. The hard part is loving someone who would do the same. Shepard has always thrown herself head first into fights and has always made it out the other side, but the woman was practically paralyzed a few months ago. I take another deep breath and let it out, aiming for the target's head.

I guess Shepard's fitness test will be the decider. I'm probably worried about nothing. I fire a shot straight through the target's forehead. At least my sleep deprivation hasn't affected my aim any. I told Shepard I'd be gone for a couple hours since I had planned to meet up with the guys for a few drinks, but now I think I'll just head home. Shepard's stuck there for a day or two, recovering from her recent surgery- they fixed her L3 implant- and a night on the couch with popcorn, old movies, and her sounds pretty perfect right now.

**_I resist the urge to throw_** popcorn at the screen. Did she really just ask Kaidan if I wear white lace or black leather to bed? I get now why Kaidan didn't want me knowing about these interviews. He refused to tell me who asked the really bad questions but he should have known better. There was no way I was going to let this drop. So I wrote to Emily Wong and told her I was trying to put together a video compilation of Kaidan as a surprise for our wedding. I needed access to all the uncut footage she had of him and in exchange I'd give her a tip about my wedding.

She agreed in a hurry- everyone is trying to get information about our upcoming nuptials and we've been guarding it viscously. I then proceeded to make the same deal with every other reporter I could think of. Once I received all the footage I sent them all the same piece of information- Liara is my maid of honor. I then proceeded to ignore all of their messages insisting that wasn't the level of information they were hoping for. Oh well. That's all they're getting.

Khalisah Bint al-Jilani is looking at Kaidan expectantly on screen, like she's honestly waiting for his answer and it never occurred to her that he wouldn't give it. Kaidan just raises an eyebrow and stands up.

"I think that's enough questions," he says and turns to go. Khalisah blanches.

"Wait, Major! The people of Earth have a right-" Kaidan whirls back around and interrupts her.

"You think the people of Earth deserve to know what color underwear Commander Shepard wears?" She blushes slightly, but keeps her gaze steady.

"The Commander is a public figure, with the hopes of an entire species pinned on her. Don't you think her life should be transparent?" Kaidan meets her gaze, keeping his face calm, but his eyes- oh his eyes are furious.

"No, I do not. Good day, Miss al-Jilani." I make a note to never so much as give that woman a sound byte again. Yes, I'm vindictive. No, I don't care. No one has ever had the nerve to ask me these questions, fearing the repercussions if they did, as well they should. Now that I know Kaidan's been subjected to them the same rules apply. They'll be cut off from all further interviews, they won't even be privy to the Normandy's press releases. I don't think they would've given me unlimited access to their film if they knew that.

Diana Allers is up next and she was even more eager than the others to get news about the wedding. I think she was hoping to be invited, but I have a simple rule about the guest list; if I have to get you to sign a non-disclosure agreement to be certain you won't broadcast the details then you're not a good enough friend to be there.

I pull up the copies of her interviews on the Normandy, scrolling through until I reach Kaidan's. It starts off simply enough, asking about the war and how it feels to be the second human Spectre. She starts going into murky waters when she asks what it's like serving under me again instead of running his own division, but it's a fair question so I let it go. Then, just as I think she's in the clear, she asks this:

"So, Major, it's a well known fact here on the Normandy that you and Commander Shepard are romantically involved. Do the two of you think you're above all Alliance regulations, or just some of them?" I nearly choke on my popcorn. That bitch did not just ask him that. Kaidan responds with his signature steady stare. Allers complained once about Kaidan giving her that response. If I had known it was in answer to this question I would have kicked her off my ship. Diana realizes Kaidan isn't saying anything and tries another angle.

"Is it fair to say that you receive special treatment for sleeping with the Commander? Has the crew begun to resent you for it yet?" Kaidan't expression doesn't change, he simply gets up and leaves the room. I pause the playback and seethe. Is this why he wouldn't move up to the captain's cabin with me? _This_ is why he was worried about preferential treatment? I wish Allers was still onboard my ship just so I could eject her from it. I narrow my eyes at her picture on my screen.

"You, I will ruin."

"And why would you want to ruin Allers?"

**_Shepard jumps at the sound_** of my voice and turns slowly to look up at me over the back of the couch, her smile just a little too bright.

"Hey sweetie. What are you doing home so soon?" I raise an eyebrow at her.

"Sweetie?" I look up to see the image of Allers frozen on the screen, noticing for the first time myself walking out the door in the background. I groan. She found the interviews. "Shepard, why?"

"You wouldn't tell me about the interviews so I had to find them myself," she says defensively.

"Did you ever think there was a reason I didn't tell you?" I walk past her spot on the couch on my way to our bar. "I can take care of myself, I don't need you to do it for me."

"Hold on," she says, standing up and following me to the bar. She puts her hand over mine on the bottle of liquor I reached for, forcing me to look up from it and at her. "That's not how this works. I take care of you and you take care of me. Kaidan, you dug me out from under several tons of rubble and played devoted nursemaid for months. The least I can do is put the fear of God into some reporters for you." I set the bottle down on the bar a bit roughly and turn my full attention on her.

"Shepard, I'm a major in the Alliance, a Spectre in my own right, if I had wanted to terrify a reporter or two don't you think I would have done it? Every time you do something like this you make it look like I only got to where I am because we're together, like I can't take care of myself." Her brows furrow together.

"When have I ever done that?" she asks, honestly confused. I counter her furrowed brow with my own look of exasperation.

"Angel you have twice thrown me over your shoulder and carried me off a battlefield. _And_ you're half a foot shorter than me!" She blushes slightly, but isn't ready to back down.

"Im not much shorter than you in mag boots!" she counters. I sigh and rub my forehead.

"Not the point, Shepard."

"You were unconscious on Mars. What was I supposed to do, leave you for the Reapers?" I'll give her that one, but I'm not ready to back down either.

"And Virmire?" I challenge instead. "I wasn't even injured that time." She glares at me for a second, trying to come up with a good reason before blurting out,

"If you had such a problem with it, why didn't you say so at the time? I would have put you down!" I think back to that horrible day all those years ago and soften my voice considerable before answering.

"After having to make that call with Ashley and nearly being dropped off a cliff by Saren, I figured maybe you just needed to hold someone."

"I did," she says, her voice also softer, her words lacking their previous heat. "Kaidan, every time you've nearly lost me I've nearly lost you right back. I can't help being protective of you, of what we have." I sigh and open my arms to her. She steps towards me and I wrap them around her waist, pulling her close and resting my chin on her head.

"You need to let me fight my own battles Shepard, and let me decide which ones are worth fighting." She gives a long, drawn out sigh.

"Fine. But I'm still never giving interviews to al-Jilani or Allers agin." I smile and press a kiss to the top of her head.

"That's fair." I pause a moment before continuing. "Just out of curiosity, how were you panning to ruin Allers?" She pulls back slightly and looks up at me with a wicked grin.

"I was going to have her security clearance pulled." I laugh.

"You are quite vindictive, aren't you Shepard?" She snuggles back into my chest.

"Only for you, love. Only for you."


	16. Chapter 16

**_I slip into bed past midnight,_** trying really hard not to wake her. Shepard turned in a few hours ago, allowing me to deal with my requisition reports distraction free. I shouldn't have been far behind her, I should have had my reports done hours ago, but it was hard to make my mind focus. Today is the day. In a few short hours Shepard will be all geared up and fighting for the first time since the Reapers fell.

I prop myself up on one elbow and study her, making use of the dim light coming from the bathroom. Her long brown hair is pulled up in a ponytail, the same as it is every night. Whether she does it to keep it from knotting up or so she's ready to go if she has to wake up in a hurry, I don't know. I do know that I like the look of those tendrils that have gotten loose and are now framing her face. I'm tempted to reach out and brush them off her cheek, but I don't want to risk waking her.

She looks so peaceful when she's sleeping, delicate even. I laugh silently at the thought. What a far cry that is from when she's awake. From the moment I met her all those years ago she's always projected strength. She tends to be a negotiator, can even be called compassionate from time to time, but no one ever forgets that beneath it all is a backbone of steel. She doesn't let them forget it.

I wonder if there was ever a time, before Akuze, before the slavers took her family on Mindoir, that she was an open person. Did she wear her emotions on her sleeve? Did she let other people have her trust instead of making them earn it? Did she ever let anyone besides me close enough to love? And if she did, if she ever was this foreign person, did that part of her die with her parents on Mindoir? Or did a portion survive only to be killed along with her squad on Akuze?

She stirs in her sleep and I'm brought back to the present. I'm sure she'd tell me the answers if I asked, but I won't. Who she was then doesn't matter, it's who she is now that counts. And who she is now is an amazing, beautiful, utterly stubborn woman. She's refusing to take a team into the arena with her, she's determined to do it solo and no amount of arguing on my part has convinced her otherwise. And believe me, I've tried.

It's basically the same argument, time after time. I tell her there's still two and a half months left on her six month timeline, she counters that our wedding is in six weeks and she needs to get this out of the way to enjoy it. I remind her she was nearly paralyzed less than five months ago, she mockingly challenges me to a race around the apartment to prove her legs work just fine. I once made the mistake of questioning her aim and she demanded we go to the shooting range, where she proceeded to outshoot me on every target. It was both frustrating and incredibly hot at the same time. Luckily the door to the range locks. Ahem, back to the standard argument.

I point out that the enemy won't pull any punches and she rolls her eyes, telling me that by it's design the simulator will stop before it kills her. I say that won't stop them from injuring her, setting her recovery back and then where will she be? This is typically met by a glare and a statement that she'll limp down the aisle then. By this point I'm nearly begging her to take a team in with her, but she just shakes her head and says this is something she has to do by herself.

For some reason Shepard feels like she has something to prove. She can't just go in with a squad, do a typical mission, and come back out. No, she has to do a solo run against elite Reaper combatants. I love this woman more than I can possibly explain, but sometimes I just want to shake her. I settle for a sigh and lay down beside her, pulling her into my arms and hoping for the strength to make it through the day.

**_Kaidan slips into bed next to me_** after midnight, the change in weight on the mattress waking me up. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close.

"Sorry I woke you," he says, nuzzling into my neck, "but hey, since you're already up..." I laugh and push him away from me.

"Don't even think about it Alenko. I have a fitness test in eight hours, I'm going back to sleep." He gives a mock sigh of disappointment.

"Fine, leave me lying here frustrated, tortured by thoughts of you and that tongue." I roll my eyes and smile, laying back down facing the wall.

"Save it for our own private celebration tonight." I can feel the change in the air, slight though it may be. Kaidan seems suddenly... cautious.

"Shepard, if you don't pass the test today-"

"What do you mean if I don't pass the test today?" I ask, rolling over and glaring at him. He sighs for real this time and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"I just mean it wasn't that long ago that you couldn't even walk."

"It was four and a half months ago!" I snap.

"And three and a half months ago you told Chakwas you'd be ready in six," he snaps back, no longer hesitant. "Which was _after_ she told you a year and a half." He takes a deep breath and softens his tone. "I just want you to realize you have another two and half months on your self imposed timeline. If you don't pass this test you can always try again in a few weeks." I'm trying not to let myself be hurt by what Kaidan's saying. I know he's only trying to look out for me, but still. Doesn't he believe in me?

"Kaidan, our _wedding_ is in six weeks. I just need to get this out of the way." Kaidan pushes himself up to a sitting position and turns on the lights.

"Then at least take a team in with you. You don't need to do this alone." I'm shaking my head before he's finished the sentence.

"How many times do we have to have this argument? Yes, I do." He turns his face away and I reach out a hand to turn it back towards me. "Hey, don't look so worried. I've soloed plenty of missions. Remember that Batarian base orbiting Aratoht?" He presses his hand against mine and brings it down from his face.

"I know, Shepard. I read the reports. But that was before." I try not to stiffen.

"Before I got hurt?" He gives me a slow nod. "That is exactly what I'm trying to prove here, that I'm just as capable now as I was then." His gaze locks onto mine.

"And what if you're not?" I feel like I've been physically slapped.

"What do you mean, if I'm not?" All the tension seems to leave Kaidan's body with the sigh he lets out. He rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands.

"I'm sorry, Angel. I'm just worried about you." He looks up at me with those soulful eyes I've never been able to resist and I will myself not to melt into them. I fail, of course. The look in those whiskey colored eyes is tormented. I push myself up to a sitting position and look over Kaidan cautiously. He may be sensitive and sometimes a touch emotional, this big strong biotic of mine, but he's not prone to random outbursts- he's more the calm and steady type.

Since the attempted Cerberus coup nearly a year ago he's supported me in every decision, had my back at every turn, and I can literally count on one hand the number of arguments we've had-at least until the last six weeks. Something's been different since then though. This isn't the first time I've looked at him and seen torment. The way he watches me when he thinks I'm not looking is almost desperate, and the way he takes me in the middle of the night- it's like he's trying to reassure himself that I'm still here.

"Kaidan," I say, reaching out to smooth his hair back. He drops his hands from his eyes and looks at me. "This wouldn't have anything to do with those dreams you don't want to talk about, would it?" He gives me a weak smile.

"It might." I raise an eyebrow expectantly and he sighs. "In the dream we're out on our first new mission, taking down a group of pirates in the Terminus when we get ambushed. We all dive for cover but something goes wrong and your legs go out. I can't get to you in time and-" I cut him off with a kiss. The heartbreak in his voice is breaking mine in turn.

"Nothing is going to happen to me, Kaidan," I tell him, framing his face with my hands. He backs away slightly, frustrated.

"You can't know that Shepard! You're not indestructible." I struggle not to sigh.

"I know I'm not, baby. I know," I say, hoping to placate him with a pet name. "But I am who I am. I can't just sit around, I have to get back out there." The weak smile is back, paired with a small nod.

"I know, Angel. I guess I should just let this test be the decider." I nod.

"That sounds like a fantastic plan. Now, how about we get some sleep, huh? We've got an early morning."

Seven and a half hours later I'm strapped into my armor, my assault and sniper rifles strapped to my back, waiting impatiently in the Armax Arena locker room. Alone. I've been pacing the room for the last twenty minutes, waiting for Kaidan to show and at least give me a kiss for luck. I know he wishes I wasn't doing this, that I would wait until after the wedding, but I can't. I know he doesn't understand, but I had hoped he would at least be here to support me. I take a deep breath and let it out, double checking my armor closures and getting my head where it needs to be- in this battle.

"Commander Shepard, they're ready for you," comes the voice over the speakers and I head out of the locker room into the arena. I glance up at the control room in the upper corner, trying to see if maybe Kaidan decided to watch from up there. Instead, all I see is the technician giving me a thumbs up. I flash him a brief smile in return and move towards cover as the countdown starts.

I use the scope on my sniper to determine where the first group will be popping up before lowering myself back into cover. The second I hear that disconcerting sound husks make I launch a biotic flare, taking out the first group before they can take a step. I grin. Damn it's good to be back.

**_I'm pacing in the Armax Arena locker_** room, all geared up with my pistol on my hip and my assault rifle on my back. I wish I had been here to wish her luck before she went out, but then she would have wanted to know why I was all suited up. If she makes it through this on her own then I'll deal with the fallout, but if she doesn't, if she needs me, you can be damn sure I'm going to be here to help her.

My eyes stay glued to the vid screen while I walk. It's airing an instant playback of Shepard's match, which she's doing amazing in so far. She's got herself set up in a corner on the Blastoid map, sniping the enemy as they come over the bridge on her left and switching to her assault rife for any stragglers that make it too close to her from the right. Basically, she's doing what Shepard does best; kicking ass and proving any doubts about her wrong.

She's made it through rounds one and two and I'm beginning to think she's not going to need me after all when I hear it. It's the sound I'd hoped I'd never hear again- the shrill scream of a banshee. This match is against elites, not super elites. Where the hell did that banshee come from? Judging by the look on Shepard's face she's wondering the same thing.

I'm entering the arena at a full run before the echoes of the scream have faded away. The banshee is using her series of biotic hops to quickly gain on Shepard from the right, effectively boxing her in. She pulls out her assault rifle, looking determined, but the banshee is just too damn close. Luckily, at this point, so am I.

Using the momentum I've built up while running I launch myself over a crate and overload the banshee's barrier before landing a foot away. I fire a fully charged shot from my Chakram Launcher into its head, scoring an instant kill. Shepard is looking up at me in surprise and I can't help the grin I'm sporting as I walk towards her and give her a hand up.

"You look like you're having a rough day, Shepard." She grabs my armor and pulls me into her, a small smile playing at the edges of her lips.

"Alenko, have I ever told you that I love you?"

"Once or twice," I concede with a tilt of my head. "Though I could stand to hear it again."

"I'll just bet you could," she says, pressing her lips to mine. In the same movement she draws my pistol off my hip and finishes off a marauder behind me.

"Round three complete. Match goes to Shepard," comes the voice of the automated announcer. I can hear the cheers coming from the control room but I pay them no mind. I hold Angel's head in place and kiss her like she's my whole world. And, to be honest, she is.


	17. Chapter 17

**_Kaidan pins me to the wall_ **outside our apartment, his tongue doing delicious things in my mouth. His hands are roaming my body, awakening it in ways only someone as familiar with it as him could. I try to keep my head, try not to get sucked up into him, but it's impossible. I kiss him back fiercely, digging my fingers into his hair. He moans into my mouth and I smile. I know his body just as well as he knows mine. He moves from my mouth to my neck, nipping and sucking.

"Not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on?" I ask, breathing heavily. It's his turn to smile, pausing his work with my neck to look me in the eye.

"I seem to recall you telling me last night to save it for our private celebration after you passed. Well, you passed. Time for our _celebration_." He returns his attention to my neck. I arch it to give him better access.

"Speaking of which," I say, trying to make my voice sound firm but pretty sure failing at it, "I seem to recall telling you I didn't want any help in there." I'm bluffing and I'm pretty sure he knows it. The fact of the matter is that I wasn't prepared for that banshee and if Kaidan hadn't shot the damn thing's head off I'd probably be back in Huerta Memorial right now. It was a system glitch that let her in(everyone's still working out the kinks in their systems), but when I heard her scream the first thing that crossed my mind was I should've listened to Kaidan.

And then, lo and behold, there he was launching himself in the air and saving my ass. It's pretty hot when he does that. In the present Kaidan chuckles. It seems he's calling my bluff.

"Oh come on, Shepard. We both know I saved your ass." I bite my lip, one of my rare tells. He gives me a look that says I really should have known he'd know better. "Besides, if you were actually pissed you'd have let me know it in the simulation. And no matter what your bravado we both know you would've hated limping down that aisle." He's got me and we both know it. I break a smile.

"Actually, my worst fear was having Wrex push me down the aisle in that damn hover chair." He starts to laugh. "Can you imagine? He'd either push too hard and catapult me to the alter or grip the handles too hard and break them off in his hands." Kaidan's laugh tapers off to a chuckle and he looks into my eyes tenderly.

"I love you, Shepard." I smile back at him. How did I get so lucky?

"I love you, too." He kisses me again, quickly changing from tender to passionate. When he starts to move his hand up my shirt I back away slightly. "Don't you think maybe we should take this inside, Alenko?"

"Good idea," he says, swinging me so I'm pressed up against the door to our place. He has an arm wrapped around my waist and he's using the other to type in the security code while he goes back to working on my neck. I can't help but laugh. The door slides open and I fall backwards onto the floor, Kaidan on top of me. Something tells me he didn't think the whole door thing all the way through, which makes me laugh even harder.

My laughter is quickly cut off by his talented mouth though. He starts making those little groans I love and when he moves his hand up my shirt this time I don't stop him. What does stop him is the lights flipping on and a yell of "surprise!" coming from the general direction of the living room. Kaidan freezes above me and slowly lifts his head to take in a scene I can't see.

"Hey guys," he says weakly. I crane my neck uncomfortably to see who he's talking to. Well damn. It's the crew of the Normandy, standing under a banner that says "Congratulations Shepard!" And it's not just my small team either. Chakwas, Adams, Donnelly, and Daniels are here too. Oh and look, Garrus is back. How lovely. Donnelly chuckles.

"Well now Gabby, do you feel better about Shepard walking in on us?"

"Cram it, Kenneth!" she whispers back sharply. Kaidan looks down at me with an eyebrow raised.

"You walked in on Ken and Gabby and didn't tell me about it?"

"I didn't realize you were a voyeur, Alenko." He looks taken back.

"I'm not."

"An exhibitionist, then?" He shakes his head. "Then perhaps you wouldn't mind getting off me!" He turns red.

"Right." He pushes himself up and then give me a hand. I find myself facing my crew, standing in an awkward silence Joker decides to break.

"Sorry, Commander. We should have known better than to throw a party, in your living room, in the middle of the day." He pauses for a moment. "Actually, I can't think of a better set of circumstances. Do you two just go at it all the time? Kaidan, don't you ever get tired?" I can practically feel Kaidan's smug grin behind me.

"Well," he starts, but I elbow him in the stomach and the air in his lungs leaves in a huff. Liara shoots Joker a playful glare before speaking.

"We wanted to say congratulations for passing your fitness test. We knew you could do it." I break into a grin. The support of a crew like this is something money can't buy. Kaidan comes up to stand beside me and wraps an arm around my waist.

"It was a team effort," I say, smiling up at him.

"You actually got the stubborn Commander Shepard to change her mind?" asks Traynor. "You'll have to teach me that trick."

"It was less of a trick and more of a rushing in to assist without permission," says Kaidan with a fond smile.

"And she still let you feel her up in the hallway? Man, you have got to teach me _that_ trick!" exclaims James. Kaidan gives him an un-amused look.

"That secret stays with me, Lieutenant."

"What are we waiting for?" asks Garrus. "Let's break out the drinks!"

**_"Speaking of which," Garrus_ **continues, turning to me, "Kaidan, would you like to give me a hand?" I kiss Shepard on top of the head and walk towards the kitchen.

"Of course." It doesn't escape my attention that the last time I got the group drinks with Garrus in the kitchen the night ended with him professing his love for Shepard. I head towards the fridge.

"I hope you brought your own dextro-amino drinks, I'm pretty sure we don't have any on hand." Garrus takes a deep breath.

"Kaidan, I'm sorry about that night." I stick my head in the fridge to avoid looking at him. It seems my plan of pretending it never happened isn't working out too well.

"There's nothing to be sorry about," I say, grabbing an armful of beers and closing the fridge. I put them on the counter and turn to face him. "Shepard is an amazing woman. You're hardly the first to notice it and I highly doubt you'll be the last. Lucky for me I'm not a particularly jealous man." I don't mention that my lack of jealousy expires after a certain point. I can't get mad at people for falling for Shepard. I mean, I did so why wouldn't they? But there's a line that gets crossed and when things change from open admiration to trying to take her from me, _then_ we have a problem. Garrus falls into the first category, so we don't have a problem. At least, that's what I keep telling myself. Garrus is shaking his head at me.

"I _do_ need to apologize. I may not be the first or last to... admire Shepard, but I'm not just one of the many. I'm her friend, but more importantly in this situation, I'm _your_ friend. You have every right to be mad at me." I give a half laugh.

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are Kaidan," he cuts me off. "And I don't blame you. Shepard is an amazing woman, but she's _your_ amazing woman. By the spirits, You're about to marry her and here I am telling her how much I want her right there in your living room." He sounds frustrated with himself and I attempt a smile.

"Well, when you put it that way I guess I do deserve an apology." I pop the cap off a beer and take a swig. Garrus does the same with a bottle on the opposite counter, apparently smart enough to have brought his own. After a pause I speak again. "So why _did_ you do it?" He sighs and leans back on the counter.

"Tali had just left me, the longest relationship I've ever had had just blown up in my face. In front of all my friends, no less. Everyone fled the scene as fast as they could and I was left with the two of you, the happy couple. I was jealous and upset, and said some things I shouldn't have. Some things that a friend of the groom has no right to say to his bride. And for that, I apologize." I nod my head slowly and clink my bottle against his.

"It's okay, Garrus. We're good." He nods and we drop the topic, having done more than our share of talking about feeling for the day. "Did you come all the way from Palaven just for this party?" He laughs.

"Of course not. I'm here for the wedding." I raise an eyebrow.

"The wedding six weeks from now?"

"Travel from war torn Palaven to the Citadel isn't exactly reliable these days," he responds dryly. "I figured I should hop on a transport when I had the chance."

"Hey, muchachos, where the hell are those drinks? We got thirsty people out here!" calls James from the living room. I grab some drinks, Garrus right behind me with the rest.

"Keep your shirt on, Vega," I tell him, passing him by and handing a drink to Adams.

"Around Shepard, of course. Wouldn't want her getting second thoughts, eh Major?" I roll my eyes and take a seat next to Shepard, handing her a beer.

"Everything all right?" she asks lightly. I give her a quick kiss.

"Everything's great."

"A toast," declares Dr. Chakwas, taking a drink from Garrus. "To Commander Shepard being cleared for active duty. Well done proving me wrong." The grin on Shepard's face is something to see. I can already feel some of the tension of the last few weeks slipping away.

"And to Garrus," adds Joker. "Now we can plan the most important part of the wedding- the bachelor party." Shepard groans.

"Come on, Joker. The wedding is still six weeks away."

"Exactly," he says, wide eyed. "_Only_ six weeks away. Honestly, I'm not sure how I'll manage, even with all the groomsmen's help."

"What is a bachelor party?" demands Javik. "And why do all the groomsmen need to attend? I was told I merely had to appear at the primitive mating ceremony."

"Relax, Javik. It'll be fun," says Garrus, nudging him with his elbow. Javik scowls at the contact. "There's drinking, cigars, and half naked Asari dancers." I wonder if I'm the only one that notices Javik's quick glance towards Liara.

"Half naked Asari?" asks Shepard, her eyebrow quirked.

"I already vetoed the strippers," I assure her.

"And who will be attending this bachelor party?" asks Javik, pretending not to care about the answer.

"Only us. No girls allowed," says Joker with a glare at Shepard. She just laughs.

"Joker, _Jack_ is planning my bachelorette party. There is no need to worry about me wanting a joint one." The coy smile she's wearing is making me nervous. "And with Jack in charge, I can't make any promises about mine," she tells me. I groan. I wonder what the odds are that I can get Jack and Joker on board with a joint party after all.

Not good. Not good at all.


	18. Chapter 18

**_Too many lights, too much noise._ **I chuckle to myself as I head towards the bar in Purgatory to get everyone another round of drinks. I once told Shepard that's how I felt about Chora's Den, back when we were on the original Normandy. Chora's Den has _nothing_ on Purgatory. I'm keeping it together pretty well though. My headaches have decreased in frequency since I got out of Huerta Memorial; it seems all those nasty concoctions that doctor was shoving down my throat did some good. Three years ago I probably couldn't have spent more than a half hour in this place without a blinding migraine and now I'm going on hour two of my bachelor party without a problem.

It's three weeks before the wedding and no matter how hard I tried I could not get Jack and Joker to throw a joint party. In fact, the closest I came was getting them to agree to have them on the same night. I'm also pretty sure the only way I managed that was so Jack could be positive I wouldn't crash Shepard's party. Which, to be honest, I probably would have. It's not that I don't trust Angel, really, it isnt. It's that I don't trust Jack.

A shout of laughter from behind me makes me smile as I reach the bar and order another two rounds for our table(we're going to need them). I'm glad the guys are having a good time. Joker was pretty ticked when he realized I was sticking to my guns about our... entertainment. After a few heated discussions(at least on Joker's part) we agreed on Purgatory. For me because the Asari here aren't technically strippers and for Joker because they might as well be.

We're up on the second floor which seems to have been designated as some sort of boy's club for the night. There's cigar smoke, raucous laughter, and Asari dancers wending their way through the crowd. For the most part the latter have left me alone. I'm guessing the warning Joker gave last time I was here has spread and that's fine by me. Shepard has promised me a private strip show later that I'm quite looking forward to. The bartender says he'll send the drinks over and I head back to our table just in time to hear Joker recounting the day I met Angel.

"So what does he do? He knocks her over!" I _knew _he had been spying on me.

"Laugh it up guys," I say as I slide into my seat. "I'm still the one marrying her."

"Though I'm not sure why," says Wrex, reaching for his ryncol. "A Krogan female would never mate with a man she could best in combat."

"Yeah, but if Shepard went by _that_ rule she'd never get married," chimes in Cortez. Wrex ponders this for a moment before nodding.

"You've got a point."

"So, Kaidan, how does it feel knowing your soon to be wife can kick your ass?" asks James with a smirk. I raise an eyebrow at him.

"At least after she lays _me_ out, Lieutenant, she takes me to bed to make it feel better." The resulting laughter is deafening from all but Vega. He seems about to try and make a comeback but Cortez stops him.

"Let it go, man. He's got you there." James seems to admit defeat and takes a pull from his beer.

"Is this what a normal night is like for the upper deck crew?" asks Donnelly, already well into his cups. "I need to tag along more often."

"Don't worry," voices Garrus, moving to make room for the drinks the waitress is now bringing over, "you're not missing much. It's normally just talk about kill counts and the latest weapons."

"Speaking of weapons, did you guys see that new shotgun over at Armax Arsenal?" asks James, getting excited.

"The one that increases damage and accuracy without sacrificing capacity? Yeah," says Wrex. "I was looking at ordering-"

"No, no, no!" cuts off Joker. "This is a bachelor party, no work talk allowed. You're setting a bad example for Javik about how these things work." The Prothean in question looks down his nose at Joker, which is hard to do since he technically doesn't have a nose.

"Our time would be better spent discussing weapons, primitive." Joker sighs in disgust.

"Oh come on. The only things on our minds tonight should be alcohol, cigars, and women."

"Speaking of women," says Wrex, nodding towards the entrance on the ground floor behind us, "look who just walked in."

**_Purgatory is on fire tonight!_** Or maybe I'm just still a bit buzzed from the drinks we had back at the apartment. I may have been a bit apprehensive about Jack planning this party, but I have to admit I'm having a fantastic time.

No sooner had Kaidan walked out the door to meet Joker and the guys than Jack walked right back through it. She was in her typical combat pants and leather jacket, but I can't honestly imagine her in anything different. She apparently doesn't feel the same about my wardrobe. She tossed a bag at me.

"This is what you're wearing tonight. Hurry up and change, the party starts in half an hour." She moved towards the bar and started pulling bottles of alcohol out of the other bags. When she realized I was still standing there she turned and glared at me. "Move your ass, Shepard!" I laughed and went upstairs to change.

When I came back down 20 minutes later I was dressed decidedly more provocatively. The dress Jack chose for me was white, I guess to denote that I'm the bride though there was nothing else bridal about it. It's strapless, leaving my shoulders completely bare, and falls to mid-thigh. The center of it reminds me of those dresses the Asari love with the triangles up from your hips and down from your chest to meet in the middle, leaving small patches of skin bare. In my case, however, it leaves _large_ patches of skin bare since there's no extra fabric to cover my sides. Jack grinned and handed me an Appletini. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Really, Jack? This is what I'm wearing tonight?" She nodded at me with a wicked grin.

"For the record, this is what I think your wedding dress should look like." I chuckled and took a sip of my drink.

"Then won't it be bad luck to let Kaidan see it?" Jack rolled her eyes.

"There's no way that pussy dress designer is going to put you in anything like this." The doorbell rang and Jack went to answer it.

"And thank God for that," I muttered, setting down my drink and following after her. The door opened to show Liara standing on the other side of it. She took in my outfit and smirked.

"Let me guess, Jack picked it out?" I smiled back.

"How'd you guess?" She pulled out a pair of shoes from behind her back and handed them to me.

"I was in charge of finding matching heels." Before long we were joined by Gabby, then Traynor, Kasumi, and finally Miranda.

"Rebuilding Horizon is going rather well," she told us over drinks in the living room. "I'm taking the next three weeks off to be here and then, who knows? Ori and I are thinking about settling down there." Jack snorted but we were saved her sarcastic comment by an incoming call on her omnitool. She took it in the kitchen but the distance didn't keep us from hearing her swearing at the unlucky person on the other end of the line.

"You have two hours, two fucking hours, are we clear?" she demanded, walking back towards us and ending the call.

"Problem?" I asked, taking a sip from my second drink of the night.

"That was the stripper company. Their guys are running late so we're having a change of plans."

"Strippers?" asked Gabby, sounding surprised. She turned to me. "Kaidan's all right with you having strippers?" I shrugged.

"Not particularly, but with Jack planning the party there's not much anyone could do."

"_Anyway_," interrupted Jack pointedly, "this just means our schedule gets flipped around. We're going to Purgatory first and having the strippers second, which should make it easier to take one home with me tonight anyway. So get your shit together ladies and let's go. And Shepard," she added as I stood up, "wear the heels."

"What am I, a life sized doll?" I grumbled.

"Hey, what you and Kaidan do in your own time is your business. For tonight, though, put on the damn heels." I was shutting off the lights in preparation to leave when the doorbell rang again.

"Hey Jack, looks like the strippers are here after all!" called Kasumi, opening the door. She was wrong. The person on the other side of the door was someone much more familiar, but one I hadn't expected to see.

"Hey," she said, somewhat nervously. "Am I too late for the party?"

**_I stand up and look over_ **the balcony to see who Wrex is talking about and, lo and behold, in walks Shepard and the girls. And holy hell, Angel looks amazing. I have no idea where she got that dress but I plan to thoroughly enjoy stripping it off her later tonight. Joker comes up behind me and groans.

"Damn it, Jack! They aren't supposed to be here until after we leave." I smile down at my fiance, a wicked idea entering my head. I create a small biotic field between her thigh and dress, flipping up her skirt a tiny bit. She immediately pushes it back down and looks around for me, recognizing the feel of my biotic signature on her skin. Her eyes meet mine and she lights up. I grin down at her. Damn, I love this woman. She raises her hand to wave but Miranda stops her, shaking her head and saying something that makes Shepard laugh. Shepard shrugs up at me before heading to the dance floor.

"Are the girls here, too?" asks Garrus, pushing away from the table and joining us at the balcony. He surveys the group as it comes through the door and suddenly stiffens. I follow his line of sight and must admit I'm surprised as well. Is that-

"Tali?" he asks in a hoarse voice. I smile. It seems like the night is looking up.


	19. Chapter 19

**_I barely step through the door at Purgatory when I feel the faint tingle of Kaidan's biotics lightly brushing my thigh._** My skirt flips up and I push it back down immediately, already scanning the room for him. I find him quickly, looking down at me from the second floor with a grin. I start to raise my hand to wave only to find it caught by Miranda.

"Oh come on, Shepard. Normally I'm all for pissing off Jack, but she made a good point about the strippers." I laugh and lower my arm.

"All right, all right, I'll do my best to ignore him." I shrug up at Kaidan before Miranda slips her arm through mine and we head towards the dance floor. I, of course, fail immediately at my promise and glance up towards him again. He's not looking at me this time but at Garrus, who's staring slack jawed at something behind me. Or someone. I don't have to look to see who that someone is.

"Looks like somebody's already been noticed," comes a disembodied voice next to me. I sigh.

"Come on, Kasumi, can't you just stay visible for one night?" I ask.

"Where would be the fun it that?" she responds, her tone honestly confused.

"How will you find a set of abs to dance with if you're invisible?" offers Miranda.

"Hmm. You have a point." She appears beside us, causing more than a few strange looks cast our way and a spilled drink or two. I'm not sure if Kasumi is pretending not to notice them or if she's so used to it happening that she honestly doesn't. Either way the gawkers are ignored as we walk by.

"Drinks first!" calls out Jack from just behind us. I turn to face her, taking a few balanced steps backwards on my heels.

"_More_ drinks already? Are you trying to get me completely plastered?" Jack smirks at me.

"That's the general idea." We detour toward's the bar, a group of the galaxy's finest just looking for a good time. Of course it's less than a minute later that I feel a pair of warm, strong arms wrap around me from behind.

"You look amazing," Kaidan whispers in my ear.

"Damn it, Kaidan!" says a frustrated Jack. "I told you we weren't having a joint party!" Kaidan shrugs.

"Then you shouldn't have brought her here," he says, nuzzling my neck.

"Yeah, Jack," says Joker, leaning against the bar and glaring at her, "I thought I said you could have Purgatory after we went back to the apartment for poker." Jack gives him an amused look.

"And I thought I told you I don't give a shit about your plans. Now gather up the groom and the rest of your boys and head back upstairs." Joker lets out a mock sigh and shakes his head.

"It's far too late for that now. The only way you're getting Kaidan away from Shepard is with a crowbar. Not to mention Ken and Gabby." He gestures to the floor where the two in question are already dancing. Jack groans and signals to the bartender to hurry up with her whiskey.

"Fine," she says, admitting defeat. "We're only here for an hour or so anyway. Our entertainment is due back at the apartment for ten." It's Joker's turn to groan.

"Oh come on! You know we have the poker table all set up." Jack chuckles and downs her whiskey in one shot.

"What part of I don't give a shit did you not understand?" Joker lays his head against the bar.

"Worst bachelor party ever." I can feel Kaidan's chest rumble against my back as he chuckles silently.

"It's not that bad," says Cortez, joining us at the bar with James close behind. "We can just close the door to the back room. We'll play poker, they'll have strippers, it will all work out. In the meantime," he says, turning to Sam, "I believe Miss Traynor here owes me a dance." Traynor laughs and takes his hand.

"You and me on the dance floor? Too dangerous." Wrex takes her place at the bar as they head out to the dance floor, setting down his ryncol and turning to Liara.

"What do you say, Liara? Join me on the dance floor? Or am I just too much Krogan for you?" Liara laughs but looks hesitantly towards Javik.

"Javik?" I ask, knowing Liara won't. "Will you be joining us out there tonight?" He sneers.

"Protheans do not dance." Liara's face hardens slightly- I think there's more going on behind closed doors for those two than they're willing to admit- and she pulls Wrex towards the dance floor.

"I'd love to," she tells him, not glancing back.

"So, Jack," starts Vega, but she cuts him off with a sigh.

"Fine, muscles. See if you can keep up this time, all right?" James follows her with a grin. I really don't think he knows what he's getting himself into. Kasumi turns with a mischievous smile to Joker but before she can say a word he's already talking.

"No, no way, not going to happen. The last time I danced was eight months ago with EDI. There's no chance you're getting me on that floor." Kasumi doesn't give up easily though and her smile stays in place.

"Oh come on, Joker. The best thief in the galaxy with the best pilot in the galaxy? We've got to have the best moves in the galaxy." Joker still doesn't look convinced. "Okay, how about this? You come dance with me and I'll buy your next drink." He seems to debate for a moment before giving in.

"Fine, but my next drink is going to be the hundred year old scotch," he warns as she drags him away. I notice Garrus standing just within earshot, trying to be inconspicuous, and struggle not to laugh. A seven foot Turian feeling awkward in a nightclub doesn't exactly blend in.

"Well, if you'll excuse me," says Miranda, depositing her glass on the bar, "I think I see a set of muscles over there calling my name." She makes her way over to an Alliance soldier on the other side of the room, leaving Kaidan and me alone with Tali and Javik, the latter of which seems lost in his own world. He sits down at the bar a few stools down and orders a drink. Judging by his normal opinion of alcohol I'd say the Prothean is having a rough night. Kaidan moves slightly so that he's standing beside me with one arm still wrapped around my waist and orders a drink.

Tali has been decidedly quiet through all this, responding to the greetings she's gotten from the rest of the crew but not saying much else. She's nursing a drink, still sober enough that she's not having any trouble with her emergency induction port. There's obviously something one her mind.

"So, Tali, how long are you staying for? At least until after the wedding, I hope." Tali seems to steel her nerves before responding.

"Actually, Commander, I wanted to talk to you about that. I've learned over the past few months on Rannoch that life planetside isn't really for me either. I can do more for my people by continuing to scout out and send goods back to the flee- to Rannoch." She takes a deep breath. "I'd like to formally request to rejoin your crew." Garrus's head shoots up and his gaze locks onto Tali. So much for inconspicuous. I smile at her.

"Well, I can't think of a setting much less formal than this, but of course you can rejoin the Normandy. Besides, she always runs smoother with you aboard." Kaidan nudges me and nods towards Garrus who is walking our way with a purpose.

"If you'll excuse us, Tali, I need to get Shepard out on the dance floor before Jack's glare kills me," says Kaidan, pulling me in that direction. Us leaving opens up a spot next to Tali that Garrus slides into. I strain to hear what they're saying, but Kaidan has already pulled me out of earshot.

He pulls me up against him tight, not leaving enough room for a breath of air between our bodies. He grinds his hips against mine, first one way then the other, and I move mine to match.

"So, how's your party going?" I ask him.

"Mmm, much better since you walked in," he purrs. I laugh.

"How much have you had to drink, Alenko?" He winks but doesn't answer the question. I glance back over to the bar to see Garrus and Tali talking, his hand placed over hers. With the exception of Javik everybody seems to be having a marvelous time. I smile. This is shaping up to be a great night.

___**If anyone had bothered listening to me I would have told them this is **__**exactly**____**what I wanted for my bachelor party.**_ Friends, drinks, fun, and Shepard. Granted I'm less celebrating one last party as a single man and more that I get to marry this woman soon, but still. Though Joker was right, they'll have to pry me away from Shepard. Speaking of which, judging by the looks Jack keeps throwing my way they're about to try.

She checks her watch and breaks away from James, traveling in our general direction. She taps each girl on the shoulder as he passes and gestures to the bar, indicating to meet there immediately. I'm not sure she meant for the guys to follow but they do. Well, all but Miranda's partner. When he tries to she laughs and shoos him away. Jack catches Shepard's eye and motions towards the bar. Shepard nods in return and turns back towards me with a regretful smile.

"Looks like this is where we part for the night." I shake my head at her.

"Nope, you forgot. We're heading back to the apartment too. A... _men's only_ poker game, remember?" She eyes me skeptically, her smile still in place.

"Now Kaidan, you wouldn't be planning on ditching the poker game and making sure those strippers Jack ordered don't make it past the door, would you?"

"What?" I ask with a laugh, faking incredulity. Damn, this woman knows me too well. She rolls her eyes and heads towards the bar, me close behind her.

"Hands off, Donnelly," Jack is saying to Ken who's still holding on to Gabby. "The joint portion of this night is over." He raises his hands and takes a step back, not willing to fight with Jack over it. Pretty good idea. The kid can't shoot worth a damn and Jack's biotics are more than impressive. Jack nods at him. "Good. Let's go."

Shepard gives me a quick kiss before being dragged away, shooting me a smile over her shoulder as she leaves. James whistles.

"Anyone else ever notice that the women from the Normandy are the finest in the galaxy?"

"So, poker time?" asks Garrus, seemingly eager to head back to the apartment. Joker sighs.

"So much for having the place to ourselves. Yep, let's go."

"Uh, you guys go on ahead, I'll catch up," I say, heading for the quietest corner of the club. I wait until I see the guys heading for the door before pulling up my omnitool and making a call.

"Beefcake's Strippers, we come to you. How can I help you?"

"Yes, this is Major Kaidan Alenko, I'd like to cancel the strippers for Commander Shepard's bachelorette party." There's a slight pause before the receptionist responds.

"With all due respect, Sir," he says, "we're more afraid of the biotic than we are of you." I guess that's to be expected, what with Jack regularly threatening to destroy people.

"Okay, how about this, I'll pay double whatever your guys were expected to make tonight." There's another pause.

"Can you also promise protection?" I chuckle. Jack may seem scary, but I've learned over the past two years she has a sensitive core. She's not going to hunt them down and hurt them for this. I think.

"I promise."

"Good," he says briskly. "Wire the payment immediately and I'll call Miss Nought. Have a good night, Major Alenko." I disconnect the call and head towards the shuttles where everyone's waiting on me. Joker watches me with narrowed eyes.

"What did you do?" I shrug. My pseudo innocent expressions are getting a lot of practice tonight.

"Nothing. Just had to call the tailor and confirm the appointment for our fittings."

"At 9:30 at night, from a club?" asks Joker, clearly not buying it.

"When are the fittings?" asks Garrus.

"Next week," I say, casually continuing with the change in topic. Javik huffs.

"There is considerably more involved with being this 'groomsman' than I was originally told, Major." Wrex clasps him by the shoulder.

"Yeah, humans have a tendency to do that." Garrus nods as we climb into the shuttle and head back to the apartment. We walk in just in time to hear Jack yelling at someone on her omnitool.

"What do you mean they're not coming?!"

"As I said, Miss Nought," comes the nervous male voice I spoke to earlier, "there was an error in our booking. I'd be more than happy to reschedule-" Jack hangs up and glares at me.

"You canceled them, didn't you?" My eyebrows hit my hairline. How'd she figure me out so fast?

"Of course n-"

"Save it," she interrupts with a sigh, sinking into one of the recliners. She looks up at me with a semi-amused expression. "How'd you manage it? I thought I had instilled enough fear in them that you wouldn't be able to pull rank."

"I, uh, I paid double." Joker groans behind me. Jack quirks a smile.

"You do realize that means I get to take what's left of your money in poker, right?"

"Hell yeah!" says James. "This night is looking up."

"Oh come on! What happened to guys night?" laments Joker. Vega shrugs.

"What can I say? The Normandy has the hottest chicks."

Jack didn't clean anyone out. That honor, as usual, went to Angel. Wrex ducked out early to catch a shuttle back to Tuchanka. Being the leader of a planet has it's perks; he'll be able to commandeer another shuttle to be back in time for the wedding, so he doesn't have to stay on the Citadel until then. Liara left next, claiming important Broker business. Javik watched her go, though he tried not to make it obvious. Tali and Garrus left within a few minutes of each other so it's fairly obvious what was happening there. Donnelly got pretty drunk so Daniels took him home to sleep it off.

When Jack left she made no secret of the fact she was taking James with her for a night's worth of company. He left with a grin on his face, but I _really_ don't think he knows what he's getting himself into. By the time we see the last guest out it's past one in the morning. Shepard yawns and stretches and I admire the way her body moves in that dress.

"What a night," she says with a tired but happy smile. "You ready for bed?" I shake my head slowly.

"Not quite. See, since I denied you your entertainment for the night I thought I'd make it up to you. A more... _private_ show." Her mouth turns up at the corners and her eyes sparkle with interest before she turns and dashes up the stairs. She pauses at the top and faces me.

"Well? Are you coming?" I grin and follow her up the stairs. For us, it seems, the night has just begun.


	20. Chapter 20

**_I beat Kaidan to our room and pull a chair from the wall to the center._** By the time he comes through the door I'm sitting in it at an angle, one leg draped over the arm and a grin spread across my face. He laughs.

"Well you seem wide awake now." I raise a shoulder and let it drop.

"What can I say? The thought of you stripping is better than coffee." He smiles at me.

"It's good to know after all this time I still have that effect." He winks at me and turns to the stereo controls. God, I love him. I don't know what I'm expecting to happen tonight. Maybe that he'll put on the latest club hit, do a cheesy dance around the room before ripping his shirt open and taking me to bed. We'll both laugh and I'll still get to see him naked. That's definitely not what happens.

Kaidan finishes with the stereo and dims the lights as the first few notes of a song pour into the apartment, smooth and sensuous. He turns to face me, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips and a look of hunger in his eyes. He starts to roll his hips slowly to the beat of the music. The amusement I was feeling moments ago evaporates, replaced by a slow burn starting in my stomach.

_Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one night stand,_ comes the melting voice of the singer, _but I still need love 'cause I'm just a man._ Kaidan closes his eyes and arches his back slightly, rolling his body towards me. My mouth goes dry. He runs one hand along the back of his neck making his bicep flex, then rolls his neck. His eyes find mine again and the naked desire in them makes me wonder why I haven't burned down to a pile of ash. That slow burn I mentioned is speeding up. Damn he's hot. The small smile he wears as he moves closer to me makes me wonder if I said that out loud.

_Why am I so emotional? It's not a good look, gain some self control._

He reaches for the top button of his shirt, his long, firm fingers unfastening it before moving down to the next one. By the time he reaches me the shirt is entirely unbuttoned and I reach out to push it off his shoulders. He grabs my hand gently with his.

"Uh, uh, uh. I believe the rules are you're not allowed to touch the dancers." I groan and he chuckles. He shrugs the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the ground behind him and revealing a body that makes my mouth water. He slides one hand up the leg I have hanging over the chair's arm, moving from ankle to thigh and swinging it back over so both my feet are on the ground. He straddles my legs, keeping both his feet on the ground, and starts to slowly grind his hips against me in time with the music.

_Won't you _s_tay with me, 'cause you're all I need._

He rolls his body and I watch the individual muscles on his torso flex and relax, admiring the way they move beneath his skin. I'm starting to see things in a lust fueled haze and it's all I can do not to outline his delicious body with my tongue. He leans forward towards my neck but instead of actually kissing me he just exhales, his warm breath sending shivers up my spine. He pulls himself upward, rubbing my chest with his as he goes, nipping my earlobe as he passes.

He slips one of his legs between mine and stands up fully, pulling me up out of my seat and against him. I brace myself with my palms against his chest and can't help running them up over his pecs, relishing the feel of his skin beneath them, skin that's smooth but not flawless. I trace the outline of a scar above his collarbone, another just below his right nipple. I could name the battles he got those in, count the times I hovered over him in the medbay while he laughed and tried to shoo me away. I look up into his eyes and see not only desire, but love. He continues rocking his hips with mine, a slow dance that's making my skin buzz with anticipation.

"I thought you said no touching the dancers," I say, my voice coming out more breathless than I'd like. He smiles.

"I changed my mind." His hand drifts to my ass. "This way I get to touch you too." He reaches for the zipper on my dress, undoing it and letting it fall to the floor. "I've been waiting to do that all night." He captures my lips with a groan before I can respond. I'm so caught up in his kiss that I don't even notice him undoing the clasp on my bra until I feel the air on my breasts. He pulls me flush against him, my nipples rubbing against his chest, now grinding his steel against my core. I roll my body against his, enjoying the shivers I get from the increased contact.

I drop my head back, giving Kaidan better access to my neck, which he promptly takes advantage of, trailing kisses down from my jaw. He leans me back farther, draping me over his arm and continuing his kisses over my collarbone and down to my breasts. His lips find their way to the tip of one breast and then the other, laving them with his tongue.

I push Kaidan back a step and he looks at me in confusion. At least until I reach for his pants, then he smiles. I pop the button and unzip his zipper, pushing the pants off his hips and letting them fall to the floor, freeing the erection now tenting the front of his boxers. He steps out of them as I start to do what I've wanted to do all night and lick my way down his body.

I start with his collarbone, nipping the edge, before dragging my tongue across his nipple. I follow this by tracing the grooves between his abs with the tip of my tongue, honestly one of my favorite pastimes. I reach the edge of his boxer shorts and drop to my knees, sending him a smile. The tenseness of his face tells me he's trying to control his breathing while I press a kiss to his cock through the fabric. I slip my hand inside and wrap it around his hardened shaft but don't get a chance to do anything else. I'm yanked back up and into his arms, devouring my mouth with kisses. He walks with me towards the bed, laying me out on it and quickly covering my body with his own. He stretches my hands out above my head and holds them there with his own.

**_I realize holding her down in any way, even as gently as this, is an illusion._** She could get me off her in no time flat and we both know it, but every now and then Shepard likes it when I take control. She arches her neck and reaches for my lips with hers. I press mine against hers briefly before pulling away. She makes a sound that sounds like a growl and I chuckle, nuzzling her neck.

"Feeling impatient tonight?" I ask, meeting her bright blue eyes with my own. I love the way she looks at me, the hunger in her gaze. I can see my future in those eyes; I've been able to see it there since the first time they locked onto me. I fit my lips to hers again, more firmly this time, and slip my tongue into her mouth. She responds immediately, rolling her tongue against mine, and I'm suddenly having a hard time remembering why I'm taking it slow tonight.

_Stay with me, 'cause you're all I need._

This must be the fifth or sixth time the song has played through, but the words remind me all the same- because I love her. With my whole heart and soul I love, worship, and adore Angel Shepard and _that's_ what I want tonight to be about. Not just sex, but making love. I break from the kiss and smile down at her.

"You're beautiful." She raises her head, her lips chasing mine.

"And you're sexy," she says. I release one of her hands and skim mine along the side of her face, threading my fingers through her hair and devouring her mouth once again. She entwines the fingers on our other hands together, then wraps one leg around my hips and attempts to switch our positions while I'm distracted. She's good at that. I counter pivot my hips though and she stays beneath me.

"Nice try," I murmur against her lips. She responds by biting my bottom one. I move, once again, to her neck, her gloriously sensitive neck. I linger at the juncture of her shoulder and neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark before moving on. I try to bypass her breasts this time but it proves to be impossible. Instead I pull a nipple into my mouth, sucking for a moment before pulling back and blowing on it. I repeat the action on the other one before moving down across her stomach, marked with scars few will ever see and even fewer will understand.

I dip my tongue into her navel but don't linger, moving farther down still. I run my hands up from her ankles to her thighs slowly until they come to rest on the waistband of her panties. Looking up at her, I maintain eye contact as I pull them down, my hands retracing their path from moments before. After they're all the way off and thrown to some far corner of the room I pause and take her in.

God, she's beautiful like this. Her hair is down, long and mussed around her face, her skin is flushed, and she's trying hard to keep her breathing under control. I allow myself a small smile when I see she's failing.

I lean down and press a kiss to her ankle, then another one a bit higher on her calf, then the back of her knee, the inside of her thigh, until I'm finally to my goal. I spread apart her folds with my thumbs and lick her slowly from bottom to top. She lets out a moan and her hips thrust involuntarily towards me. I do it again, curving my tongue slightly into her opening, and her hands snake down into my hair. I lick her slowly once more and she growls at me.

"Damn it, Kaidan! Quit teasing me!" She pulls sharply on my hair and any restraint I had is gone. I slide two fingers into her, curling them up to find her g-spot and flicking her clit with my tongue.

"Kaidan!" she yells within seconds, her back arching up off the bed and her core throbbing around her fingers. By this point I know her body as well as I know my own.

"Better?" I ask a bit smugly as the aftershocks die down. Without warning she sits up and flips me over onto my back, sliding my boxers down to my ankles. She's not patient enough to make sure they're all the way off and they still hang off one leg as she straddles me and slams herself home. It's my turn to groan.

"Much better," she says, starting to ride me. Her breasts sway in time with her movements and I'm mesmerized. Damn she's good at this. I grit my teeth, focus on a point on the far wall, and think about biotiball.

"Uh, uh, uh," she says, turning my face back towards her. "I want you right here with me." She draws a figure 8 with her hips and now it's my turn to arch my back and gasp. She smiles and leans in for a kiss, pressing her chest against mine, and rolls her hips forward then back again. She's moving slowly enough that I can feel every piece of my release build.

"Angel!" I gasp. She grins and bites my earlobe and I'm done. I grab her ass and hold her in place as I thrust upwards, hard and fast. Determined to take her with me I lean up and capture a nipple in my mouth, letting my teeth just graze the edges.

"Kaidan," she moans as her inner muscles clench around me once more. I pour myself into her and when we're finished she collapses on my chest, our bodies still joined together. I brush the hair off her forehead and press a kiss to her temple. She's already half asleep but neither of us have any desire to move. I smile as I pull a blanket over the two of us. Best bachelor party ever.


End file.
